Notes About The Poem
Eleventh Place
Bag Of Spiders Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Matt Caliri
Bag of Spiders
With a bag of spiders collected for my science project
A fifth grader’s “Spiders Under The Influence” was the subject
Got the idea from a book on the study by a zoologist
Shifting the time when spiders built their webs, his quest
The pattern of the orbs distorted, the greater the toxicity
I knew from reading that they were safe so no need for pity
They gave my mother valium (a tiny pill) for anxiety
Although I always behaved with the utmost propriety
I couldn’t say to her, I’m having a nervous breakdown mom
I must pass a final to graduate, can I please have one?
I waited until she dyed her hair, a beautician I applause
I snuck into her bureau and swiped a pill for the cause
The pot I stole from my older sister, stinky skunk weed
I’d mash then extract, made it hash to put in the feed
I had done the same with the pills and the caffeine
I used sugar water as the solution and began graphing
The results of the experiment a success, I felt like a celeb
It takes one hour for a garden spider to build an orb web
Small doses of these drugs showed the cobwebs were smaller
They were way out of whack, droopy and irregular
The radii uneven, the widespread of the circles was affected
The sleepy one did nothing all day as expected
The spider on marijuana started a web, then flat-out gave up
It took the creepy crawler longer to string and linkup
The spiders survived; I hurled them back into the bag
In the garden I set them free as I watched them zig-zag
Mrs. Byrd, my science teacher was very angry and refused to exhibit
She gave me an A anyway whispered to me, enjoyed it quite a bit!
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