Bad Shampoo

I invented what I thought would be a fantastic shampoo. But when people try it, every one of them decide to sue. If you try my shampoo, you will be appalled. If you wash your hair with it, you will go bald. It makes people's hair fall to the floor. Now millions are out to settle the score. People tar and feather me and put cherry bombs in my pants. I would've liked to have fathered some children but now I can't. People have no pity, when they see me, they always decide to attack. Don't use my shampoo unless you're an actor who is auditioning to be Kojak.