Average Lazy Bum
He’s just your average lazy bum —
a sweet, lovable loser
Who loves to stick his index finger
high in the air,
and tell you he’s number one
When in fact, technically,
his favorite sports team is
It’s success by association,
as he moons the neighborhood kids
Because he don’t have much else going on in his life,
in the way of personal achievements
Lost a good job,
lost his good wife
Even his best friend ran away twice
Doggone it!
But rest assured, he loves living
the surf bum life
He’s just your regular couch potato,
a sour grapes eating man-bear
Giving out high-five grunts
when he snore
Highlight reel dreams of when his team
made the game-winning score
As a matter of fact, technically,
the refs blew the call ...
his team never shoulda had the ball
He once entertained big dreams,
as a two-sport high school stud
Now, he’s a balding barrel of trash talk,
his star flamed out ... now his fizzled life is a dud
It crash landed with a thud
He blames everybody but himself,
as he cracks open another Bud
Flagstaff Flash is just your average lazy bum,
sweeping the carpet on his chest
for any broken taco shells or salad croutons
Relaxing all day in his Laz-e-Boy,
got his beefy hand on the five-position lever
Life ain’t never been so carefree good ...
he’s winning again,
as his fantasy team is doing better than ever
Copyright © Freddie Robinson Jr. | Year Posted 2017
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