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He’s just your average lazy bum — a sweet, lovable loser Who loves to stick his index finger high in the air, and tell you he’s number one When in fact, technically, his favorite sports team is It’s success by association, as he moons the neighborhood kids Because he don’t have much else going on in his life, in the way of personal achievements Lost a good job, lost his good wife Even his best friend ran away twice Doggone it! But rest assured, he loves living the surf bum life He’s just your regular couch potato, a sour grapes eating man-bear Giving out high-five grunts when he snore Highlight reel dreams of when his team made the game-winning score As a matter of fact, technically, the refs blew the call ... his team never shoulda had the ball He once entertained big dreams, as a two-sport high school stud Now, he’s a balding barrel of trash talk, his star flamed out ... now his fizzled life is a dud It crash landed with a thud He blames everybody but himself, as he cracks open another Bud Flagstaff Flash is just your average lazy bum, sweeping the carpet on his chest for any broken taco shells or salad croutons Relaxing all day in his Laz-e-Boy, got his beefy hand on the five-position lever Life ain’t never been so carefree good ... he’s winning again, as his fantasy team is doing better than ever
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