At Last

At Last 09/08/2018 Old thoughts in my mind Found it hard to be kind Undeserving, unnerving Unwilling to unwind So positivity blind, To myself unkind Defeatist, hedonist True pleasure find Searching for moderation Full of resignation Obsessive, compulsive Unsure of destination Questioning my commitment Thought I’d be committed Irrational, delusional Suicide attempt committed Sanity a soul search Don’t snuff out my torch Hopeful, loathful Alone in the lurch Reaching down deep Ruminating can’t sleep Deception, reflection Decide to take the leap Hard to ask for help Though willing in self Castigated, Motivated Bereft of my health Detox, rehab the help I need Drugs, my mind and body plead Addiction, affliction A hunger, greed a need I feed Clean of mind and thought New thinking I’m taught Sobriquet, Sobriety Balance in life sought Do it for self For no one else Dedicate, unmedicate True wealth in health Physical, mental, health balance Self love forgiveness, all encompass Spiritual, physical True to self at last