Apology

I wonder how much it'd take Just to look back on today And erase everything I did say I'd willingly pay any cost To throw away today's loss To undo these stupid words So that nobody would get hurt As I remember everything I said As my words torture my own head A tear or two streams down my face I'll grab the razor just in case "No," I whisper as they hit the ground Here I am, screaming, yet not making a sound I just want to forget that I exist After all, it's pretty clear I wouldn't be missed I feel like my words could kill an army I believe everything I touch dies before me Why can't I be like everyone else? Why do I resort to the friend on my shelf? It's sad how "perfect" is all they see This whole poem was selfish of me I guess I'm not good with apologies I'm dying and crying because I'm sorry