Anti-Dating Agency
What is wrong with you?
You're a bipedal pest problem
What in the world am I gonna do
to get rid of you ... shake you out of my life?
You're making me so sick,
hanging on to me like an Alabama tick
I wish I had some kind of human pest control,
an aerosol spray to eradicate you from my vexed soul
Something that would keep you from coming around,
trying to infest my quiet abode
Stop you from attempting to invade
the walls of my heart like rotting mold
Look here, buster!
We had a short, casual fling
But it unraveled real quick
when I started noticing some odd, troubling things
Quirky things
You always dressed sharp, but your car looked like junk
Also, a faulty memory ... frayed wiring
that short-circuited your promises
A bad, addictive habit of never keeping any of them;
blowing them off like smoke,
treating broken agreements like a dirty joke
And it seems you got a one track mind,
only think about money all the time
Ain't nothing wrong with wanting to get a bit prosperous,
but if that's all you're about ... then love won't be enough
The worst thing though is you're too clingy,
too overly possessive ---
a woman needs space, y'know, to breathe free
I ain't your living property: mister, you don't own me!
Man, I wish there was an anti-dating agency,
to keep those bad relationship pests away
Patrol the perimeter of my privacy nonstop:
rejecting unwanted suitors; thwarting pesky, wannabe intruders
My sweet dreams of an anti-dating agency,
I know are fanciful flights of fantasy
Being single and a little lonely sometimes
is an acceptable cost ...
Because you can't put a price on peace of mind
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