Another Kind of Light

I lay upon a stranger's bed
The mattress hard and sharp
There is no comfort here tonight
My fear plays with the dread
 
My mind is frail; my thoughts are pale
I'd like to nail them down
My heart is pounding, time is gone
I feel my slow, slow breath
 
I wish I had the dreams of old
I wish I had the will to turn
I wish I had the hopes I held
As I lay upon this bed of cold
I wish I could embrace those hopes
As they twist and pace and burn
 
I wish I could remember them
I wish I heard their sweet, sweet songs
I'd hold their frozen hands in mine
I'd carry them along
Yeah, I'd carry them along
I'd kiss that frozen child of mine
And carry him along
 
I have regrets, but none so hard
As when I saw the light turn dark
As when I heard the lock again
When with his magic, brilliant pen
The doctor signed me in again

Sometimes fate is not so kind
It puts us back in time
It pulls us hard against ourselves
Like a siren in the rain
Like a muted siren fading
In the black, coughing rain
		
Now I feel the hand of time 
It grips my mind, turns out the light
The room spins round with colors white
To stay awake you have to fight
They'll come for you if you don't fight

I lay upon this stranger’s bed
I lay without a plan
Perhaps I’ll find that I am me
Perhaps I’ll find that I can’t be
Perhaps I’ll never give a damn
Perhaps again the door will slam

There is no comfort here tonight
The room spins round; where is the light
I feel the creeping ice of night
Lay on my soul with fingers white

My breath is slow, my thoughts are frail
My heart is weak, my muscles fail
The siren fades into the night
And leaves another kind of light
Copyright © | Year Posted 2010

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Fraser Avatar
December 17, 2010 at 1:54 AM
This stranger being death. Many confirmations of being brought to the brink of demise only to be fortunate to live more tomorrows. I totally agree with Carolyn, you have taken a new style to the Soup, and so very welcome...James :)
Brown Avatar
December 2, 2010 at 11:31 AM
I wish that I could vivify my comments to you and to all better. But I end up babbling and making no sense. So, I will leave you a message today letting you know I did read your poetry and I enjoyed it. I love reading poetry and the poets here are so talented. Have a wonderful day Deb. Love, Carol
Devonshire Avatar
December 1, 2010 at 12:32 PM
A chilling description of seeing the light at the end of life, Deb. Many people here have experienced similar pain -- doors slammed in our faces as we search for hope. Thank you for your Soup mail. Believe me when I say you bring a lot of talent to Poetry Soup and we are really lucky to attract writers of your caliber. I'm glad you entered that contest -- there will undoubtedly be many contest wins in your future if you keep posting poetry like this. Love and blessings, Carolyn
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