Another Couch

-------------------- How do I find myself here again On a couch one more time Another call that I should make An irony sublime We split a few weeks ago A party I've been having But She just called me so I'd know What has been happening Her request is oh so simple But massive its import A date to a business party As boyfriend not escort She has no reason to stay here So She just told me now If She cannot be here with me Then back to Her home town I am still young, I am coming Into my own it's true Money, position, success at My doorstep and it's due Do I share it, not keep it all Discarding selfishness? Or do I take the glutton's fall With a villain's harshness? Women I'll find so freely now They've been just so for me Coming quickly to my calls since I reached maturity But She's put me to the question She's given the deadline Will I be a real man for her Or just the boyish kind I've been put to this test before I've realized I failed Years' guffaws through gritted teeth While inside my heart wailed Then to visit the other One This is to keep Her here One relationship exhausted This shortened by my fear If I make this phone call to Her It means the end of youth It means real life consequences It means upholding truth It means we'll say our wedding vows It means fidelity It means that I must choose right now Whom I will want to be How did this ever happen here? 'Twas just some youthful fun How did She in full time become The one I call The One Over moments and half a decade She's all that I can see Like my limbs, my mind, my soul Becoming part of me But am I really ready now? Can I uphold all this? Can I be all that She deserves In Her last lifelong kiss? Saw the other One weeks ago I've never seen such hate Pointed at me for things I did A guilt I cannot sate Am I a better man than then? Even a little bit? The One knows all the wrongs I did And She's forgiven it I have been honest and have been True more than I was not But in the last year I often Betrayed Her loving thoughts How did She oh so easily Find forgiveness for me Immediately letting love Still uphold and shore me I fear Her, and I fear all this I fear the loss of youth I fear vulnerability In telling honest truth But more than all of this I fear Another great love lost A treasured heart rent by me Without regard to cost I will always regret hurting My other One so badly For making her think that I did Love her less than madly And if She were to hate me like The other One does now It will make my mind break in two And make my body bow So like She lit those fires in me That I thought were darkened She now ignites my will and mind As Her call is hearkened The phone is ringing through the line My fears have been put paid For The One I'll make myself the Best man I can be made For to Her and the other One A tribute I will give Inspired by my two great loves A good man's life I'll live