Animal Within

There's an animal deep down inside me, deep in at the depths where my soul lays to rest. And no, it's not a bunny, or a cute little puppy dog, or even a tiger. It's more like an ancient wolfman in character, but 10 times larger and 20 times more vicious and rabid. About the size of a grand mountain, yet somehow squeezed and compacted into a little girl just below five feet in build. It's what causes the waves of pain in my stomach that mimic the fifty foot waves of a turbulent tsunami aimed to destroy the lives of thousands as he tosses and turns, kicking his legs out trying to find comfort room. It's what causes the grueling tugging at the angel hair strings of my heart due to its constant hunger, constant want to devour the contents of my dying heart. It keeps gnawing and clawing at my skin, he's tired of being trapped, and I know how he feels... I'll help him, my new friend. Let me cut the flesh from the outside as he scrapes me away from within.... Bam! He's out and I can see the glee on his devilish face with a wicked grin that'd pierce the soul of even the most innocent child. Then like a bolt of lightning from the mighty Zeus aimed to strike him down, he is gone.... But I'm not alone. I feel like I am but in my schizoid brain I know I'm not. You are there. But I'm bleeding out from the wound left behind that was meant to be a release. Blood and guts spewing out on the burning ground as you frantically try to save me. But what should I do? I know the pain you see in me is pulling you down into the inferno as well. Is it right for me to put you through a reoccurring misery to save the life of a person who just wants to die anyway? A person who can hurt you so so badly to the brink of insanity just with the snap of her two fingers.... I don't want to be that person, and you may not think I'm that person, but I can't help but be aware that I am.... I hate seeing you in panic as you struggle to shut my wounds. Even as my vision is starting to blur I can see what you're trying to do. Sewing needle to your lips trying to thread into it the care for me you've somehow strung together. Finally you successfully spit your string of words through the needle's slender eye. Naturally, I cringe as I feel you pulling ever so tightly with all your might at the gaping hole.... Imbedded in my skin now and evermore to this day are your healing words, "I'll always be here." "You're not alone." "I love you".... But as a result I'm scarred and damaged, feel used up and unworthy like yesterday's irrelevant newspaper. Hold me back and tie my hands immobile because I just might snap. Only reason I grow my nails out is to rip open all the godly work you've done so far just in case it has to be so... But still through it all you're my salvation, the foundation to this rickety house we've built for the pair of us. You sustain me, and as long as you do I promise to do the same for you. I'll keep moving along with you till we reach an ending of a story with a happily ever after, but till then I'm just this shell of myself matching your emotions to become a single entity with you, Giving you the parts of me that you need to survive, and even though I don't care to live I'll welcome the parts of you that you wish to give. Hopefully through this grisly, yet alluring, exchange we'll bring out the bests of ourselves. Now and forevermore....