And Here I Sit For the Thousandth Time

And here I sit for the thousandth time Writing over and over the same old lines Lost in the dark its hard to see Im right here and I cant find me Mirrors lie we all know that It doesn’t see as your heart is trapped Except now theres truth in the night It only reflects black without the light And death calls just beyond the door Stealing away all that I lived for And I find As I fall That my life Was so small And as I turn I hear the call I close my eyes And let go all And Im so sorry for all Ive done Haunting thoughts the tears start to run Tracing paths down to the floor Still wet from the time before Ive cried and cursed all alone Has the heart of God turned to stone Was I placed here just as a filler Destined to lose all to the Dealer Was all ive done so meaningless Down to the first girl that I kissed And I find As I fall That my life Was so small And as I turn I hear the call I close my eyes And let go all And does the God of man Just sit back to watch the hourglass sand As the desperate cries fill the air in his heart, is there a small tear Or do the forgotten wonder the earth Cursed with death from their birth Is each life just a tv screen That flickers and fades and goes unseen Airwaves that fill the night sky Lonely lives that are just a lie And I find As I fall That my life Was so small And as I turn I hear the call I close my eyes And let go all And were all my desires just as fake As is each breathe that I take And was everything for nothing at all Just a plaything as Gods little doll Whatever the truth Im still in this moment Afraid and alone Im still in this moment And the truth is what I see Whether lies or real im losing me And the truth is what I feel and the truth, its killing me still And I find As I fall That my life Was so small And as I turn I hear the call I close my eyes And let go all And all these memories come pouring out Can I know love when I’m full of doubt And how am I expected to be After all that’s happened to me Or am I deformed somewhere inside Somewhere deep where my soul has died And are all these reasons why God whispers I must die Was there a last chance I missed Hidden behind a betraying kiss And so…. I find As I fall That my life Was so small And as I turn I hear the call I close my eyes And let go all….