And Here I Sit For the Thousandth Time

And here I sit for the thousandth time
Writing over and over the same old lines
Lost in the dark its hard to see
Im right here and I cant find me
Mirrors lie we all know that 
It doesn’t see as your heart is trapped
Except now theres truth in the night
It only reflects black without the light
And death calls just beyond the door
Stealing away all that I lived for
And I find 
As I fall
That my life
Was so small
And as I turn 
I hear the call
I close my eyes
And let go all
And Im so sorry for all Ive done
Haunting thoughts the tears start to run
Tracing paths down to the floor 
Still wet from the time before
Ive cried and cursed all alone
Has the heart of God turned to stone
Was I placed here just as a filler
Destined to lose all to the Dealer
Was all ive done so meaningless
Down to the first girl that I kissed
And I find 
As I fall
That my life
Was so small
And as I turn 
I hear the call
I close my eyes
And let go all
And does the God of man
Just sit back to watch the hourglass sand
As the desperate cries fill the air
in his heart,  is there a small tear
Or do the forgotten wonder the earth
Cursed with death from their birth
Is each life just a tv screen
That flickers and fades and goes unseen
Airwaves that fill the night sky
Lonely lives that are just a lie
And I find 
As I fall
That my life
Was so small
And as I turn 
I hear the call
I close my eyes
And let go all
And were all my desires just as fake
As is each breathe that I take
And was everything for nothing at all
Just a plaything as Gods little doll
Whatever the truth Im still in this moment
Afraid and alone Im still in this moment
And the truth is what  I  see
Whether lies or real im losing me
And the truth is what  I feel
and the truth, its killing me still
And I find 
As I fall
That my life
Was so small
And as I turn 
I hear the call
I close my eyes
And let go all
And all these memories come pouring out
Can I know love when I’m full of doubt
And how am I expected to be
After all that’s happened to me
Or am I deformed somewhere inside
Somewhere deep where my soul has died
And are all these reasons why
God whispers I must die
Was there a last chance I missed
Hidden behind a betraying kiss
And so….
I find
As I fall
That my life
Was so small
And as I turn 
I hear the call
I close my eyes
And let go all….
Copyright © | Year Posted 2011

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Arnott Avatar
February 12, 2011 at 5:58 AM
liked very much! i can soo relate,.. as im still here , and confess , inside building frustration and hate, lost and i procrasinate , the feeling of betrayed from the begining, i feel ur pain, in the end to the just hope n winning,,,, Sincerely JEN
Adeite Avatar
February 11, 2011 at 11:27 PM
Hey! wonderful lyrics yet so many questions to the Creator. God knows anyway. Thanks for sharing this with us, please keep painting your poetry pad with the cute colours of creativity. Hope to read more from you. Have a great weekend dear friend! Love always, Adeleke.
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