Ana

Ana is a nickname used by those with anorexia. For some, it's a "superior" way of life. For others, it's a way to belong. Ultimately, it's a life ruled by fear; whether it's ever faced or forever denied. If you suffer from an eating disorder, please try to get help. No one wants to see you die from your illness. Take care and stay safe. Ana By Michelle Morris 02/05/2023 Ana, Ana, Ana Your name conjures up images Demons and heartbreak Anger and shame Ana has been a part of my life for decades She was my mom's best friend She was a family secret She was the biggest liar and manipulator Nothing I could do or say Would lessen her grip on my mom I was sucked into her orbit There was nothing I could do to avoid it My mom was tiny She was around 5 feet tall She looked like a little pixie But she could be a demon troll I always loved her I still miss her beyond words But our relationship was complicated By all the baggage and demons we had to deal with It's taken many, many years I accept that I'm not perfect I appreciate that I don't have to be To receive love and affection But I still have super high standards I'm still way too hard on myself But I am grateful that I don't have Ana Living in my life or my daughter's Ana is divisive She is cruel, controlling and dark She'll never bring love and light Sadly, she'll always be part of our world If you have Ana in your life If you believe she helps you belong Please step back and realise it's denial No one can show you love when you're gone There's nothing superior about starving There's nothing sacred about this way of life You belong with those who want you to live Please accept and embrace life and hope You don't need to fear being happy You don't need to fear the scale You don't need to feel like an island For you are part of life and you are loved © Michelle Morris, 2023