An unexceptional turning point in our marriage

An unexceptional turning point in our marriage... unexpectedly came about, when possible prospect of the wife going to Puerto Rico by herself (for a fêted celebration of our eldest daughter and her significant other, which occurred years ago courtesy justice of the peace) attended by family and friends across the webbed wide word found me positing how I would feel staying back at the apartment alone for a couple of days - maybe a week at most enjoying a quasi short lived bachelor existence - fending for myself, which would mean subsisting on a diet constituting opening a can of whole cranberry sauce, or other fruits or vegetables ad nauseum for breakfast, lunch or supper. Upon the possibility, where circumstances could find me free and clear from the nagging persistence hearing "Matt"... "Matt"... "Matt"... called out by the spouse, plus various and sundry other quirky behavior she playfully displays, the sentiment of missing such annoying ofttimes hounding, prodding characteristics would sorely be missed, though I rarely if ever communicate any strong compassion towards the woman, (whose troth pledged not quite thirty years ago) continually in my close proximity. Though our marriage devoid of physical intimacy wife get along swimmingly, we exhibit less strife than days of yore effulgence promulgated to all readers unbeknownst to human life form characterized by bloke, whose words appeared across screen exemplifying, embodying, and edifying regarding beloved simian counterpart bandying playfully sometimes drubbing and drumming my body while she emulates sounds of fife. Although she ranks as a fine prairie home companion since July twenty fifth nineteen ninety six a tad more than five months (not quite to the day) before "star student" birthed on December twenty second, now gainfully employed at Certified B-Corporation initially stationed since being hired within San Francisco, California, but presently employed in New York City. The missus madder than a raging (red) bull visa vis upon discovering mine absence (cuz I slept in the basement at 724 Railroad Avenue) how wretched and dull being married and celibate, hence yours truly sought full fill mint outside the marriage, yet unbeknownst to this husband an automatic, fatalistic, and opportunistic hull king, quaking, and vociferating wife gave me a thrashing tongue lashing harangue verbal dressing down, I betrayed, coveted another woman flaunted sacred pact and will (as good as) hang, analogously like being in league with wanted villain, who committed nefarious misdeed which sexual imbroglio, albeit (nocturnal escapade) did boomerang in earshot of both our young daughters virgin ears, thus a sudden pang to exit the scene arose up inside me courtesy wishful trapdoor to appear suddenly, (whereby regarding floorboards) from out mine overactive imagination sprang open to usher, and/or time travel back to earlier that fateful night rather than lang whooshing amidst livid rage self serving deserved fiery emasculation, the noose hence I did stage, experiencing withering, twittering, snapchatting, kickstarting blistering expletive laced epithets think ready to burst pressure cooker evincing dangerously hot level gauge driving figurative wedge between me family courtesy foaming at the mouth spouse (of course deux progeny affected) renting asunder and rendering hollow thee justice of the peace gordian tied, uttered, vouchsafed worded oath I did pledge. Divorce prematurely ejaculated, yet instantaneously dismissed no more pleasant alternative spewed versus contracting cankerous cyst analogous to toxic mother of our two offspring hissed, particularly the first born offspring disparaging me directly linkedin with promiscuous tryst me honestly, lamely, meekly justifying philandering gist cuz gal methought (good idea mister casanova wannabe), which came as soliloquizing aside to exchange as bartered bride thine scorned wife, who would relentlessly chide (even long after the day I died) abominable behavior, I do readily admit figuratively found me electrified what with raging testosterone nsync with hormonal secretion my guide erotic gamboling, I chose not to hide never back once black traipsing inside double entendre meant viz yule eyes joyride horizontally we and the mistress lied devoid of prejudice but lacking pride.