An Endless Fall

It builds inside the bitter-sounding great divide With pride I hide my amplified disdain inside I smile like everything's ok but I know it will rain today Melting through the flooded pores of every long-lost open door It's hazy like the day you and I just walked away Clear just like the way I say the future happened yesterday It cut too deep for common scars tell us who we really are I'm too defined by pain and wine to take my daydreams very far Instead I lost my weightless smile to parasitic, hollow lies Knowing now, exactly why, my heroes always seem to die And why I lose my sanity within the ghost of every tear And where I hid this honesty you see in me between the fear I'm so far from being cured of this disease in any useful way I hate myself for being here instead of lying in decay As you watch me walk away from which I recklessly stray Knowing that I may be without the comforts of the world today But even with the better life, I always came back to the knife No happiness or memories to keep me company at sea Just broken hearts and shattered lies left in the convoluted wake The ship has sailed; just take it all; retreating to a calmer lake I'm left without a single thing to keep me floating in the storm But I still have those promises I used to say to keep me warm I may be sad just for a while, but I must go the extra mile Walk alone through hell and back to keep me sane for just a while Don't get me wrong; I'm really scared as hell if you can tell Don't praise this disillusioned dream I sell in the darkest part of a bottomless well I fell into this broken place devoid of any style or grace But if I smiled, if you could tell, i'm searching for a better place