Am I Hideous

Am I hideous 

So many years have drained,
slowly taking what was once mine
scattering it over endless thoughts and memories
And I wonder why, where has it all gone…
Silver finds locks once dark,
muscles speak in much louder tones

Sleep is something of youthful moments
and nightmares wrap me where once bloomed orchids

Coming down that mountain…stumbling,
gazing on the valley below, green and lush, 
envying those who still smile,
holding hands and drinking of life
one happy sip at a time
from that half full glass held next to their hearts

Not a drop spilled on their dance floor, 
mixing with saw dust and erratic footprint designs

A tear finds my cheek, lonely as it is
asking what did it mean, why has loved passed me by
Nary a wave or a nod, eyes fixed elsewhere
Am I hideous…the thought has crossed my mind…why did I just grin,
did something soft touch me and I didn’t notice,
until now…perhaps

There’s that word again…seems overused
though it hasn’t been spoken in ages

Entering that final path, winding…tiring so
but a spring in the old step, a bounce found in place of a crawl
“Sweet the fragrant air doth find me of you” 
Why did I just say that, and in a voice I hadn’t heard in so long
Seems to be singing…and it is me…me
and funny…I hear harmony

So it has come, the voices of my past belting out a few notes
into the mind of crab cake crumbles and starched socks

Yet it is not in my head, it is on the wind…a cool breeze of song
wafts along aged skin and tickles…and I laugh at the feeling
When she appears from a field of lavender, different yet perfect, 
beautiful eyes, lips, I must be going insane
they said it would happen…madness
Then she smiles at me and I smile back, could this be…love…me 
Taking my hand we run, yes run…uphill, and I feel free

Reaching in my pocket I pull out the four leaf clover 
I found when I was twelve and whisper…”Took you long enough"
Copyright © | Year Posted 2018

Poem

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Wolf Avatar
November 6, 2018 at 11:39 AM
You have written---so tenderly, so poignantly---all of us (dare I say it?!) 'seniors' are feeling and going through. Bravo, poet! And thank you! Best always, gw
Leiser Avatar
November 5, 2018 at 10:42 PM
You took me on a wonderful journey into your inner world, Chris! So sad, poignant and then hopeful..the emotions so raw and so well expressed! You have a true poet’s heart :)
Green Avatar
November 6, 2018 at 7:35 AM
Thank you so much Laura. What a nice thing to say to me. I am happy you enjoyed this.
Dietrich Avatar
November 5, 2018 at 6:43 PM
this one is so evocative and the ending kind of mysterious. I just love the imagery. This for example, what an original line!! So it has come, the voices of my past belting out a few notes into the mind of crab cake crumbles and starched socks
Green Avatar
November 6, 2018 at 7:34 AM
Thanks Andrea, yes, I wondered where that line came from, I am not a fan of crab cakes or starched socks. :)
Thompson Avatar
November 5, 2018 at 6:27 PM
Such a lovely write Chris, and noone is ever too old to find love. Thank you for another wonderful piece. Best Wishes, Jess
Green Avatar
November 6, 2018 at 7:33 AM
Thank you so very much Jess. I am thrilled you liked this one
Sands Avatar
November 5, 2018 at 1:04 PM
I could feel the stumbling down the mountain and burdens with questions, then with a perfect ending. :)
Green Avatar
November 5, 2018 at 2:30 PM
Thanks again my friend. I am happy you liked it.
Rose  Avatar
November 5, 2018 at 12:30 PM
Ah, you just pinched my heart dear Chris, I felt that, Thank you for sharing, have a great day.
Green Avatar
November 5, 2018 at 1:00 PM
Thank you so much my friend.
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