All Change

This year I turned the big ‘5-0’ And my body is acting strange So I went to see the doctor who said Not to worry, as I was going through ‘the change.’ “Is there anything I can take?” I asked He replied, “There’s HRT But I don’t believe in prescribing it, Let’s try to deal with this naturally!” You could have knocked me backwards And I thought, all well and good for him It wasn’t his raging hormones Making him feel like a stranger within He doesn’t get narked, by the little things That before would go over his head Or wake up at night, in a lather of sweat And have to get up to change his bed It isn’t him having palpitations Which make you feel like you’re going to die It’s not him, who feels angry one moment And the next as if he could cry He’s not lapsing in concentration Or feels like he’s his losing his mind, Because he put the milk in the washing machine And it took him an hour to find! It isn’t he who keeps feeling so crap When a ‘monthly’ is missed or comes late And I bet he never just has to look at food In order for him to gain weight! He’s not always taking medicine for thrush Or constantly needing to pee So I bet he’d be first to pop the pills If it was him going through this, not me So I looked at him and said “I’ll give it a go But I don’t really hold much hope” And walked out of his surgery, feeling as though I could have hung him with some rope! But off I went and months have gone past Of getting worse doing - ‘naturally,’ So I’ve made an appointment with a lady doc Who might take pity, and prescribe ‘HRT.’