Ah Tis Nothing Greater Than

Ah... tis nothing greater than... malfunctioning heater on that brisk winter day recorded here as proof positive regarding following reasonable rhyme. While scrolling thru poems crafted yesteryear, I chanced to jog my memory where there occurred power outage necessitated more than divine intervention yielded courtesy effort vis a vis wing and prayer while yours truly kept burrowed under blankets within Highland Manor lair squirting wd-40 into ears, mouth, and nostrils failed to activate, lubricate, and remediate sluggish primary cerebral cog and gear subjected to bitter cold apartment air. Thee particular date being December twenty eighth, two thousand nineteen, (three years ago from today), I saith the then Jack of all trades maintenance technician Kevin Blank said he would notify HVAC expert in good faith, yet to compliment clangorous din... I called upon the ghost of Marley's wraith. Thus despite compressor issuing cacophonous, deafening, ear splitting noise clattering din louder than convention of reindeer - doubled as all boys (choir) followed by cavalcade of Santa Claus, who employed, the missus of course with equipoise, and countless elves pressed for service mending broken brand new toys. Why... yes twas during most recent brutal bitter cold spell methought, yours truly got sent, where absolute zero temperature more frigid than when hell froze over of course, I felt like human popsicle management didn't give a lick, no matter yours truly gave rebel yell Billy me you, I immediately yearned (some months back) for April May, June... some tell tale sign to alleviate pell mell bone crushing polar vortex preserved frozen awful botox smile impossible mission to quell, nor avoid frostbite to deep freeze (frieze) every cell; millenniums later archeologists discovered embalmed human once preserved in ice despite climate changed dystopian future found me thawed out body reason to sing and kvell. Forsooth mindlessly jabbering away jaw frenziedly attempting to convey how this schlemiel procrastinated and did delay, NOT taking page from playbook of Dick Proenneke without possessing an iota of survival skills to live alone in the wilderness such cockamimi half cocked notion would fly in the face of sense and sensibility and I a creature of comfort best be war re: not game to warm cockles and muscles loosely translated restrained foray toward forbidding verboten terrain (exalting in bosom of paramour) think fifty shades of gray kindling like ice cold tinder thawing frigid celibate stasis, an unnatural rut versus making whoopie to generate body heat hooray, but clothes minded chap even entertaining bacchanalian melee alien fantasy unrecognizable yielded Abort, Retry, Fail? – nay synonymous to when yours truly adopted Presbyterian sacred ministerial he pledged allegiance linkedin and jumpstarting career parallel to the late Mister Rogers, his neighborhood of make-believe immune to weather related events, thus forever okay, nevertheless expressed gratitude confessed, I unconsciously did (as iterated earlier) pray while suspended animation did stay slowing or stopping of biological function physiological capabilities unpitted and preserved - yea. Hence today upon being and getting woke, (where central heater set at a comfortable sixty five degrees fahrenheit) feeling like I slept forever and a day - no joke most certainly well rested constitution; dreams did evoke intensely scrutinizing Scottish matted cognomen, chilled wren, and whim hen folk, who appeared out of this dreamy Maxfield Parrish world hybridized, mutated, and segued into rorschach Roanoke Island mystery disappearance smooth as glass skin cloak immune against ultraviolet rays ordinarily causing skin cancer, their attenuated limbs (ala El Greco) strong as oak versatile to prod analogous to pig in a poke, whereby superior petsmart doggone noggin could invoke telepathic communication interestingly enough issuing smoke signals, whenever danger present and capable to disappear as if doing breast stroke, thus concludes trademark discombobulated poetic anecdote of one garden variety generic bloke.