Again
In the music, everything burns away
And I’m left in a soundless vacuum filled with faceless people
The emotions that were bubbling inside my soul
Spilling out into a great dark intangible space
Suddenly I realize
For the millionth time
That I am broken
Helpless but not hopeless
Disgusting but not repulsive
Unloveable but not unloved
That I don’t have it together
That I never will
Control was never in my hands
It’s in yours
Along with the whole world
I hurt
Because I am sinful
I hurt
And you know I hurt and you’ve felt my pain
I hurt
But you love me and there’s nothing I can do to change that
Deep breath, give it all up, begin again.
There is always time to start over.
Copyright © Caitlin Essenburg | Year Posted 2011
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