Afterward Depression of a Breakup

My hearts been blended again you say 'im sorry' but i cant even begin im not ready to forgive haunted by your face drawn by the memories forced away by your hate we dont communicate you want nothing to do with me when once you said i meant everything i loved everything about you there was nothing i would change when i was with you you were all i thought of you were everything i ever wanted but now, i cant think of you, without breaking down i cant hate you, without loving you at night i cry, wishing to be with you i hurt inside, knowing you are with someone else you said you wouldnt know what to do without me but ive been gone for awhile and on your face is planted a smile you said alot of things i believed almost everything but now i dont trust anything from your lips came so much but it was just lust now all you do is disgust so much was said planted in my head i think of you as i lie in my bed how could i have been so stupid how did you fool me so easily all you did was deceive i could call you a liar and youd call me one right back but who knows the lies from the facts i wanted to hold on but nothing was there i wanted to love someone who was already gone how can you be with somone when theyve already disappeared how can you linger in the past knowing that youd never last how could he be with her when once he said i was all he wanted we are forever faded although im still jaded i feel as though i cant go on i feel alone and brought down im so insecure of myself i hate everything about me the only time i was happy was when i was with you you gave me confidence you showed me reasons to live but now im given in since you are gone now i have none endless cries drive me mad im running out of reasons to be sad finally ive lost all will to live ive lost all my confidence and strength the noose has been made the rope hung in my dismay now where does my future lay?