After Their Deaths '21-'22

After he died, I'm always drinking. After she died, I'm always smoking. Because what use is a life worth living If I cannot numb the grief I am feeling. After he died, I'm always wondering What could've been if everything was improving. After she died, I'm always being A better person for those worth loving. After he died, I was always crying About how he could have gone on living. After she died, I was always questioning If the addictions we have are worth anything. After he died, I wondered why it's worth continuing The legacy he left behind, but it's not for nothing. After she died, I wonder if I held any meaning In her life that was so sadly so fleeting. After he died, I learned how to keep living My own life despite my heart's grieving. After she died, I learned how life has meaning Even when we feel there is nothing but suffering.