After the Credits Rolled

Three years deep into freedom And yet perhaps as tied down now as I was then Scars are scars because they do not vanish Fade as they might, that skin is numb forever As a being made of scar tissue My arm and back are dulled to this new world Perhaps my brain and heart as well As cortisol is as potent as any blade I once thought it would be over that night That when the credits rolled, the story would be completed But do we ever wonder how characters feel Once their plots are complete and they must go home? Life goes on after the credits roll We pick up the pieces left behind and build something new A shelter from the strong winds and driving forces That led us on our hero's journey to begin with So the scars you inflicted on me remain Where old haunts and new vistas Can be smeared and tarnished so easily As a flash of gold appears and pulls a trigger A simple sandwich in an ancestral cave A seed-studded outlook witnessing long-passed wars Your specter haunts the depths of my vision As a permanent reminder of what once was It's easiest to remember the good times Where even in the depths of despair Any golden rope could serve as a permanent waypoint To huddle and form a shield against the cold It's no longer the case Happier memories are now stained with ice and gray And even after three years I have not advanced much further beyond where I was I've barely noticed the years passing, to be honest Whereas every day with you dragged so slowly They all merely blend together now Empty and clear Thus words fail me more than ever As gathering the same desperate drive to be happy Becomes harder and harder to do I have ascended to zero from a sea of negativity Serotonin was returned to me By a dashing warlord atop a frozen hill Not altering my mind to fill it with false happiness But rather unlocking parts of it I hadn't used it years So I await the effects Can I fade these scars so well that even I'm convinced? Or will this terrible portrait you painted on my neurons Be the subject of viewer adoration forever?