After Goodbyes

I asked her to reconsider her decision to leave and she said what I think was eather " Go to hell or Lil Gary goodbye !" So I waited till she pulled out of my driveway to break down and cry. It's happened many times before and not one of them had a good reason ; so why? I thought love was supposed to last forever and so if it don't is love just a lie ? Makes it scary when I find someone new I'm willing to trust. But having a girl to hold at night..... well y'all for me it's a must ! What is real love anyway because I guess I've only had lust. Watching them go away everytime while I'm left here all alone again in the dust. Why do I keep choosing the wrong girl time after time ? Hell it's just something I can't seem to define. It sure makes it hard to let memories go when you have a heart that's as big as mine. The only ones that stayed here through it all is me, this house, and a very old pine. And I'm starting to think we might be better off with a no trespassing sign. All the goodbye's is making me feel just like I'm dying. I'm not even sure when in the hell I completely stopped trying. Or even the reason that I'm still ing crying. I keep telling myself that it will get better one day but I'm probably just lying. The worse thing for me everyday is going to town. I'm always smiling so everyone seems to notice my frown. Nothing sticks out more around here than a unhappy clown. And trying to stay cool ain't easy while this heart in my chest is coming unwound. So I wear shades to hide my tears and the fact that I'm down. Hoping all these tears I'm crying won't cause me to drown. My life is so y y'all that it's probably turning me brown. It's getting harder and harder everyday to deny. Cause once again I lost my love, my best friend, and only ally . Hell my house is now becoming a very beautiful pigsty. There's no more blue with all the red in my eyes. And if you ever text me ; I'm sorry cause I'll never reply. I guess me and my well both has completely run dry. Its hard to move on when all I can think about is her kissing some guy. Even just sitting in my yard gives me about twenty reasons to cry. Because I can show you every single spot where they all told me goodbye...