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ADHD Sleepless Rant

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So I couldn’t sleep and the internet was down so here’s the result of that cluster-f

Oh my god is this 1787,
Was the constitution just written today?
Because the WiFi is down,
And I don’t know what to say,
I’m about to perform a *****-face frown.

If I were frowning much harder my lips would secede,
As did America’s west from Mexico,
Back when Mexico was actually a thing to heed,
Rather than a rhyme for crappy companies like Texaco.

America smells like hedgefunds and corruption,
Rather than when it smelled of freedom and what’s fair,
Oh wait never mind I realize that deduction,
Forgot slaves and all non-white straights with fair hair.

“Let’s make America Great again!”
Said a voice from no-less-than a corpse in a warped toupee,
As if this place had pretended to have ever been,
A great place to be female, of color or announce “I’m gay.”

Yes, I’m gay, do you have something to say?
Go on, my ears are all over your gaping mouth hole,
As long as they’re open there shan’t be a day,
They’re unwilling to vomit back up what they stole.

Netflix is frozen and my iPhone is only a square,
For the internet no longer exists,
What am I to do in a day like today where,
Without the web no one knows how to persist.

Oh my god I sounded absurdly racist and dumb,
In the second stanza of this poem I’m writing,
Perhaps that’s because I’ve had a bit too much rum,
Maybe I should stop or else in comments I will sure to be fighting.

Oh wait I’m drinking because the internet shut off,
And all I know how to do without it is drink,
I guess I’ll smoke weed and get higher per cough,
Then I’ll feel even less of a need to think.

Oh my god, it IS 1787,
Is that lady outside churning butter?
Because the WiFi is down,
And I don’t know what to mutter,
But at least my smile is no longer a frown.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018

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Date: 4/3/2018 10:55:00 PM
He he he he he he he. I love your brain. XOMO!
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Date: 3/13/2018 8:30:00 PM
Lolol Brendan may your wifi never again go down!!!
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Brendan J. Simons
Date: 3/20/2018 6:50:00 PM
I certainly hope so!