Abuelita

Abuelita.................. Grandma.................. You don't know how much I need. there are days i pretend i'm talking to you to make my heart believe that you're still here ... and the truth i don't know how to can’t explain to him that you're no longer here with me.., because I don't even know how to endure this pain that is breaking my soul and the truth I prefer death not to live without you ... when I saw you at the funeral and touch your hand I feel like it wasn't you because I don't remember you that way I wanna believe that you're still alive because I'm suffering crying every day I'm going crazy my beautiful old lady I’m been through the worst of of my life But the Hardest was losing you my days are dark my sins weight more my tears hurting me more each day .. you know that my days here are numbered I don't think I'm going to heaven for so many sins since you left I only seek death . I wish I could return time and be able to see you again and hug you and never let you go because you are the machine that gives life to my heart and since you left my heart no longer has the strength of I continue to go on apart this pain is killing me day by day so I want to ask you to come for me... without you and my son,, all I want is to rest because I am in agony that seems eternal I am paying for my mistakes and with a very high interest I regret all the wrong things I did and I heartily ask God to take me so that I can hug you once more and tell you how much I miss you and I need you I’m lost without you perdóname abuelita