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Abandoned

Was here yesterday morning, disappeared this afternoon Gone a certain aegis, like the wearing off of perfume See nothing can last forever, time elopes with esprit Winds of change unchangeable, mother nature’s a banshee I don’t want to think about tomorrow, no… not just yet Trying to cling onto some zeitgeist, it fades I forget Memories and pictures pique me, dreams I can second guess Moments are all but snuffed out, building up to more duress Coming apart at the seams, disintegration follows My need to retrieve zest, pukes up bits I cannot swallow I’m just a trier who failed, however that’s not the point Takes a man to face his losses, sorry to disappoint And in the end we all know it, life’s our true living hell Next week I’ll be back in heaven, to its one prison cell

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Paula Goldsmith

Date: 8/22/2023 3:38:00 PM

Congratulations on your win. A powerful write/ending. Have a great day with your wonderful win............

David Kavanagh
Date: 8/23/2023 12:55:00 AM

Thanks so much Paula, I was delighted to make the cut in contest, cheers David

Paul Bell

Date: 8/21/2023 9:52:00 AM

I like cheery poems on a Monday. I always think life is put in front of you, so you can fail it. Mind you, one man's failure is another man's success.

David Kavanagh
Date: 8/21/2023 10:37:00 AM

Indeed it is Paul, but we can up that ante, to one species failure is another ones success, anyway I’m delighted I cheered up Monday for you, thanks so much for stopping by, cheers David

Tom Cunningham

Date: 8/21/2023 1:15:00 AM

Quite a dark sonnet you've written David, we all fail in life sometimes and to accept it but at the same time not giving up. Tom

David Kavanagh
Date: 8/21/2023 5:45:00 AM

It is indeed pretty bleak and dark Tom, as the title suggests, I do ponder if we are actually abandoned or just lost for answers, perhaps the latter, cheers David

The Situation

Date: 8/20/2023 3:00:00 PM

Not too often you find poetry with deep meaning and you sympathise with.

David Kavanagh
Date: 8/20/2023 3:09:00 PM

Oh no need for sympathy TS, empathy is probably best for the abandoned, thank you for your kind words, cheers David

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 8/19/2023 12:59:00 PM

- "See nothing can last forever" ... but, nobody knows tomorrow, David - A skillful poem ... with your deep metaphors ... best wishes in the contest :) - Happy weekend :) - hugs

David Kavanagh
Date: 8/19/2023 1:43:00 PM

Heya Anne-Lise, happy weekend right back at you, I did fall into metaphorical quicksand in this one, stuck in the past perhaps, but tomorrow is another day, come rain or shine, thank you so much, cheers David

Maureen Mcgreavy

Date: 8/19/2023 9:10:00 AM

This poem. Some titillating turns of phrase and peppered with gobsmacking depth, for me anyway, and my experience… having had a coulda been dead brain injury where memory took its time coming back to me. You poke the soul and entertain the brain. Fave’n xomo

David Kavanagh
Date: 8/19/2023 10:33:00 AM

Thank you Super mo, it’s ok to poke deep holes into the fabric of our psyche, once we can handle it, perhaps hell is heaven’s prison cell, (metaphorical) I’m delighted you’re recovering well from that TBI, and with your Fave, means a lot, cheers David

Lin Lane

Date: 8/19/2023 8:27:00 AM

So much abandonment going on that I feel the need to tether myself to my friends today. David, I don't know whether I'm more impressed with your vocabulary or with your Sonnet of 14 syllable per line. The fading spirit of time as a zeitgeist and calling the winds of change Mother Nature's banshee... splendid authorship.

David Kavanagh
Date: 8/19/2023 9:02:00 AM

Thank you Lin, a very favourable review from yourself, you even mentioned the syllables which is great, yes keep close to your friends, don’t let these dark places I go consume you, I certainly don’t, they are only moments, yet they can seem much longer, when experiencing abandonment, cheers David

Di11y Da11y

Date: 8/19/2023 7:34:00 AM

Some amazing lines in this which I'm sure could be spun off into other poems of their own. Great stuff! I deliberately avoided this one as I muse on it far too frequently already.

David Kavanagh
Date: 8/19/2023 8:54:00 AM

I know you do Dilly, oh they’re only pensive moments, and dark ones for sure, I do like the idea that some lines could spin off into other poems, as I’ve created poems from lines of other people’s work before, thanks so much for braving it out to comment, that is the highest kind praise, cheers David

Valsa George

Date: 8/19/2023 7:24:00 AM

The poem sounds deep disappointments ! You have voiced your frustration using catchy phraseology! Remember life is a daring adventure. What's there today may not be there for tomorrow. It is an unwavering truth. But life cannot be written off.... Strive hard to make it meaningful! Beauty and joy fade away like the wearing off a perfume.... Powerful analogy and great diction, dear David

David Kavanagh
Date: 8/19/2023 8:47:00 AM

Heya Valsa, the poem theme itself is pretty bleak, yeah I can go there at times, mostly though I’m just pretty deep, you analyse my poem perfectly which is great, but the poem is not a permanent reflection of me, just those low moments that I ponder at times, cheers David

Sotto Poet

Date: 8/19/2023 6:54:00 AM

You have crafted a truly remarkable poem that resonates deeply within every soul. Undoubtedly, time's elusive nature accompanies the inevitable dissolution of all things, prompting us to seek out renewed vitality. Our relentless pursuit of self-improvement and progress remains ceaseless, for we are forever driven to elevate ourselves.

David Kavanagh
Date: 8/19/2023 8:38:00 AM

Thank you Lasaad, of course we are forever driven to elevate ourselves, but equally the battle with the dissolution of all things is never easy, sometimes appearing pointless, I appreciate your kind critique, cheers David

Kim Rodrigues

Date: 8/19/2023 6:19:00 AM

Very interesting - wearing off of perfume…mother nature’s a banshee… Next week I’ll be back in heaven, to its one prison cell…

David Kavanagh
Date: 8/19/2023 6:24:00 AM

Thanks Kim, all metaphors for abandonment, extreme probably, but you know me I rarely do anything by half, don’t read too much into that last line, I saved it just for me, cheers David