A Valentine's Cry

This day seems so bleak though I see joy all around, I hear their laughter, see their smiles The paper hearts that line the halls, the gifts that fill each room, the flowers and chocolates and deep thought poems, the hugs and kisses endowed by couples around each corner The jewelry adorned on youthful girls, the gentle bears in the arms of lads, And yet, I feel nothing. The tears well up in my heart and there’s a hurricane raging in my mind. Tasks upon tasks with deadlines quickly approaching. There was a time, when I was younger, when I would grin, when a smile would stretch across my mouth. Simply because, on this day, everything was perfect. It was a day of love, a day with no fights. No shouts filled my home, no insults hurled through doorways. And when night fell on this wondrous day, my lips would finally release their stretch of death. Each muscle, once pulled tight, now relaxed as my smile shrunk, fallen to frown at the thought of tomorrow. When the shouts would echo again, the voices that had once been calm and gentle, rise and hurl across the house, like a stone through a glass pane Now. In this age, I feel nothing, no drop of joy, For those voices have long since split, yet still, anger rears its ugly head Now, there is naught a sound from any emotion No grief, no joy. I do not feel anger, I do not feel resentment, I feel nothing. Nothing, but the overwhelming stress of life pushing down on me, and when I try to rise, it strikes me down once more. Again and again, over and over, never ceasing, never stopping. It’s just a breath that I long for, just a moment, please, I beg you. The tears from my heart now rise to my eyes, but I will not let them fall, I will not break, not here, not now, not like this, not with them- One day I may fall in love, I may be a shoulder to cry on and I might have that in turn, I may have a hand to hold, even one that I will offer. But that is not today, and that is not this year. One day my pain will end and I will have peace, but for now, there is nothing. On this bleak yet joyful day, the day they celebrate the wonders of love, I celebrate nothing