A Tribute To My Ex Husband

True story guys... True story I wondered why he didn't peak As my dress would hit the floor I pondered why he didn't speak Of wanting something more It seemed a bit strange That he maintained a state of flaccid Unless I'd rearrange He couldn't seem to blast it Boobs and bush weren't his thing He would rather play soccer Since I didn't have a ding a ling He was a vagina blocker As years passed by I became bitter It seemed I couldn't please In the rare event, he he made it flitter I found myself on my knees A "funny" man, was he Also known as a butt pirate surely didn't want me Blew out every candle I lit Now he resides over the rainbow Holding hands instead of guns A place where all the funnies go When they decide its time to run