A Struggle

We all have our good and bad days Because they depend on our ways Growing up around bad environments And a screwed up system by governments My family not loving me Discriminating against me Telling me that they regretted my birth And me not wanting to be on this earth I became depressed And dealt with a lot of stress Never taught me right from wrong Dealing with these memories for so long I always learned things the hard way From always wanting to do it my way My past always haunting me From when my half brother raped me And then abusing me When I got older I told my family But they didn’t believe me Then going to school and being talked about And not cared about Because I was different And not belligerent My self esteem grew low And when it came to sex it was hard to say no Because I would do anything to feel loved Known as a jump-off around the neighborhood And no one really knew or understood That I was I struggling with my life Overcoming suicide attempts And anxiety attacks Coping with the way things are Because my hope grew far While days seemed to never get better I tried to change for the better I’ve learned to just cope with everything Because in my life it’s a constant struggle