A Spankin New Bum For Tommy

Tommy fell off his bike and broke his bum When he set off to find a new one Big, tall, or one size fits all A man he met at the mall, offered a new bum but for a large sum Tommy looked here, there, and everywhere Even the stores where they sold underwear To venders who had his back But his bum still had a huge crack! Something was still wrong, how very unfair His bum was so noisy it brought him shame It made weird noises and he got the blame Tooting, hooting, and squeaking when anyone started speaking His bum sounded like a video game When he discovered he had the loudest, his talent made Tommy the proudest, A butt trumpeting bold, better than a pot gold His sound-system backside, the best! Sonic blasts when Tommy bent over He picked a perfect four-leaf clover A gas that blew him away well into St. Paddy’s Day A blast heard from Dublin to Dover