Home » Poems » Ryan Geoffrey Hayward » A River darkened

A River darkened

I'm sick of being
the man I never was,
once upon a time
I could have been,
anything,
but closing my eyes,
the images gush thru
darken memory
I cannot rest.
I think sometimes,
it'll be best
to suicide.
I've tried
in the past
but I know,
I'll be reborn
back.
I will live on,
and past the fronts,
live in solitary
of humanity
in a darkened
and obsolete
old town.
I need
to be
anything
but
here.
I hate my venom,
it was building.
I need to let go...
A river flows,
so why can't I?
Live in solitary
left alone
in my thoughts
and relax
to nature.......
If I'm faced
to trial
why not
the maker?
I still can't
get those dark
of horrible
endless thoughts
to leave
as I
bathe
my sleeves
free will
is a disease

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Sara Etgen-Baker

Date: 8/15/2025 5:09:00 PM

I can relate to your words, Ryan. Sometimes regrets can weaken my soul.

Ryan Geoffrey Hayward
Date: 8/16/2025 6:02:00 AM

The best thing when my brother suicided was to take a break from the city life and it strengthened me and my resolve. We can't live in the past and the spiritual realm is infinity if we allow ourselves to forgive ourselves. We can only move on and I did treat my brother terribly at times but I focus on our happier memories and know that my conscious to him means I regret my mistakes.