A Plate Too Big

Memories evaporate as I struggle to operate my life becomes too complicated stress and strain leave me frustrated too much on my plate at first not sure I ordered what I was served forget going forward or about dessert food blocks my view unable to observe I’m stuck looking at a present where I have lost my nerve I know I wasn’t always this way something bad has occurred currently I’ve lost my way and it feels it’ll last forever I don’t want to make excuses it’s my fault that I suffer I’m not one to pass the blame on to any other but I know I now choose to live my life as a recluse I don’t know the reasons yet but I cut people loose for now my mind is hiding all the reasons and the clues but I must trust my instinct now before the point it proves I look to learn from past mistakes but my past doesn’t fit it’s like I’m blind to how things started I just can’t pin point it It’s almost as if my current theory where I’m blamed for every bit isn’t actually what happened seats where others sit friends I believe the very best in cannot be accused after all they are my best mates so they wouldn’t abuse but with them inconsideration my mind starts feeding clues situations I needed help and my God they refused This plate of dinner is getting thinner it now reveals it’s artwork my friends did not behave like friends they just became hard work all those memories flooding back so fast I’m getting heartburn this food is nearly finished now they showed me no concern time is a perfect healer now my memories aren’t concealed I know exactly what happened my trusted instinct reveals that I don’t need a friend who sees my pain and gets a thrill I was right to trust it and cut loose friends who aren’t real In this metaphor the dessert is the rest of my life when that big fat plate of food arrived it blocked out all my eyesight I couldn’t see tomorrow or the order I placed tonight I saw the best in those who lie but correcting it I’m alive I’ve learned you can’t trust friends you must have your own back close the chapter of me broken from now on won’t deal with crap