A Pet For a Pet

I’d mowed me lawn and chopped the wood, I’d even done some weeding, And when I told the ‘missus’, she said, “Oh gosh my heart is bleeding”. ‘Okay then’ I sort of thought, her smart remark needs a reply, So I grabbed a dozen stubbies and didn’t even say goodbye. I didn’t really feel like drinking, down at the river on me own, So I pondered as I drove around, who might be home alone, Well ‘round and ‘round the town I went, trying to contrive, On who might need a morning beer. Next thing I’m in Beechey’s drive! I’d just caught ‘Bee’ in fact for he was walking out his door, But when I held up a stubby, where ‘Bee’s’ going he’s not sure, For he’s got a choice of knocking down a half a dozen beers, Or surrender to his loving wife, whose been drumming in his ears. ‘Bee’ said if he took the top off one he won’t know when to stop, And he had to get some birdseed for his budgies at the pet shop, So I put the stubbies in the fridge, and joined ‘Bee’ for company, While we went to get his bird seed, and satisfy his Mrs. ‘Bee’. We walked amongst the parrots and zebra finches in their cages, Hearing red canaries whistle that I hadn’t heard for ages, Guinea Pigs were hiding in the straw; mice tumbled on a wheel. ‘Bee’ shook hands with the owner, who was his mate I feel. ‘Bee’ didn’t have to ask for seed, the bloke knew its budgie food, So they started telling dirty yarns and some of them were crude. All the while they made me laugh, then the owner said to ’Bee’, “I’ve got to duck down to the bank, can you watch the shop for me!” A little girl of maybe five made her entrance through the door, And she carried in a shoebox that she placed upon the floor, Then with the sweetest little voice that only angels could address, She asked ‘Bee’ if he kept rabbits, and of course the answers yes. ‘Bee’ led the girl down to the hutch, to find a ‘bunny’ now for her. Was it a pretty brown one? Or a cuddly white angora! Or would she like a ginger one, or one white and black and buff. The little girl just gave a shrug “My python couldn’t give a stuff”. ©2002 Lindsay Laurie