a love poem to my recovery

no i wouldn't die for you. i wouldn't, and i'm not sorry. i spent too long hiding in the shadows, waiting lurking wanting and hoping that they'd see that I would have. in an instant, i would have. a bullet, a train, a grenade, a pile of pills. i would've taken any of them for anyone. but instead, life shot me with an arrow. life gave me you. this is not a love poem, this is a hope that you'll make it to tomorrow because i know tomorrow has rarely been a promise that you've intended to keep. and that's not your fault, it never has been never will be. you've seen me in the pitch of night, staring at the figures in the walls creatures that only i could fear. you stuck by me, and you waited and watched and loved and cared. you care. I've so rarely had that in my life and im grateful every day to you. you gave me the confidence to adorn the spaces on my walls which haunted me with pictures of what i loved and my darling, we're there, and we will be and we will be and we will be. I've sworn by you, not to you, and the difference is looming for we are not one piece split in halves, but two wholes, held together by joy, and peace, and what we've found in the bed we make together. i love you, i do. i do, i will. i'm not afraid of your mind's defenses, the scare tactics to ward off those who are not true, who are not yet ready to defend you and protect you, to care the way you do. I'll stand by you, like you have by me, and i will love you for as long as you shall let me.