A Lost Life

You only live once, I’ve heard people say. Oh how I wish, it wasn’t that way. I hadn’t a chance, right from the start. No, not a helping hand, nor a loving heart It was no bed of roses, not even close. A life full of hurt, I endured more than most My brother and I, we survived the ordeal. Then came the years, where we chose not to feel. Years and years later, seemed one day out of the blue. I felt like I woke up, to a life that was new. I was many years older, but still this was me. A bit shocked and confused, how could this be? Where did the years go? I was just thirty three. I’m fifty years old now, I missed out on being me. So I woke up in my forty’s, is what you’ve heard me say. I’ve been cheated from life, in the biggest way. No proper upbringing, just hurt and abuse. Which made all the wrong feelings, with all the wrong use. No choices made right, examples were not there Run away to whoever, showed me a care Decisions were made, in the blink of an eye. No thought ever put into it, didn’t even know why. So here I am now, so much time spent and gone I was cheated from a life, I played only a pawn People don’t think, when they act like they do. It’s true what they say, to thine own self be true. So go ahead mom and dad, rest in your grave. Just know I’m still searching, for a life that I crave. The life that you took from me, so long ago. You thought nothing of it, but I’VE carried the load Thanks a lot mom and dad, my life could have been Something worthwhile, not just a downward spin. But think nothing of it, you never did Don’t worry yourselves, I was just a little kid. She won’t even remember, isn’t that what you thought? You kept me busy, with all the stuff that you bought. But a kids just a kid, for only so long you see. Those darn kids grow up, they don’t always stay three. So what will you do, when I’m twelve and can’t hide? You still claim denial, and cling to a false pride. Well I paid for all that, your cheap thrills and lust. Because you were sick, I learned never to trust. So thank you for all this dear mom and dear dad. There’s much more to mention, in this life that I’ve had. But now that I’m your age that you were when I grew I’m happy and proud to say…..I’m NOTHING LIKE YOU. 2016