A Life Forgotten

I take a step back and I stand on memory lane, curious of my passed days I drift away I could never really feel like a villain, yet many of my deeds then were truly honorable Aid? I was the first soul there I fought for justice and what was only fair I grew up a humble child, wearing hand me downs and yet I stood proud Every now and then I would feel the physical pain of the beatings I would receive As I felt then not so often for the pain that lived in my heart then was greater than the blood shed I would run home from school to show him of my learnings; yet I arrived to a cold shoulder A creepy feeling would climb up my spine, truly I had never felt anything colder He could never really look into my eyes Poorly effort did he make to love me I stood by his side, I denied all of the beatings and verbal abuse For what? I ask myself now what did I win; nothing ; nothing his favorite word, as that was the definition of my name then He took it all away from me, except my dreams for only when I slept I was in joy Time after time, days would crawl on by Always finding the smallest most insignificant reason to lay his hand of justice upon my face I bruised and bled at times I struggled to walk, I even was paralyzed a few times But none of that pain was even close to the one I felt in my heart He scarred it for life I once stood to his aid, when no one came to see his well being Only to be disowned in front of his so believed friends A Christmas I not know Not because of the gifts but because of its whole meaning Alone I have spent all of my holidays, and yet I stand here today with tears in my eyes to write about it I felt like I was garbage for my own family did not even sweat if I was missing I had no one to share my goals, my accomplishments with, alone I searched and searched yet found nothing, I was in a quest of love Only my shadow took to my side Only my bogus smile hid me from the world Pity I did not welcome Hungry I went at times, I took shelter in the streets after he wished me out I have seen many things felt many struggles, but I am not a quitter Never will I be, for God loves me He is my real father and not the man whom made my childhood a nightmare And I praise Jesus for He is my Lord Amen.