A Hospital Stay - Part I

"Nothing may hide from the hidden." - Japanese Proverb 1. Gulliver's God Goes Silent Sir Johnathan's Lilliputians assumed Gulliver's watch to be his personal god, Observing how seldom he took action Without first consulting it. Time has come to be the Tyrant God of our frenzied Age; The One Who Harries The mass of us from here to there, and back again Crying down the faithful to the terrible slippage The relentless loss of minutes, hours and days, Unreclaimable all, Shouting to us from our wrists, our walls and all things electric The message of incompletion, Things undone and lost In the unstoppable flood that sweeps us along Carrying all we think we know Towards some great, invisible, communal Terminus. The acolytes' wishes are served, In serving one so like ourselves Serving those unsatisfied by any sacrifice. The call comes in late September; A doctor's voice informs me Of a tale mad cells are telling Gathering deep within; An aimless tide of their lives just beginning To flourish sans form or purpose Bringing destruction to the temple they occupy Through sheer abundance. That was when, for the first time, My part in the steady move towards the Terminus Loomed clear and certain in my sight, Joining the strong knowledge of my heart. A fluid anxiety filled me, Running shapeless and invincible I felt, somehow, like drowning - So it was as another Summer gathered itself up for its death I checked into the hospital To be dropped into chemical oblivion Laid out like an offering To the spirits of Blood and Mystery Reading my organs through greengloved hands, Interpreting the language of manic cells. Skin peeled back like pages of a book I lay captive in the sleep of Lethe As they read the script writ in red within Making decisions Correcting errata. The god on the wall Moved his hands in passing across his face, But not for me.