A Hearfelt Apology

I know that my scars cause embarrassment for you
My skin just doesn’t heal quickly from black and blue

I’m sorry that my sweet cat causes you to wheeze
And that when we went camping you caught lime disease

And I just hate it that I lost my sanity
By ducking so your fist would crush my vanity

I’m sorry I bought you too many birthday gifts
And that you felt compelled to toss them from the cliffs

My cooking, as you say, will never win a prize
Now with frozen dinners I’ll try to compromise

I criticized your sister for trying to dress fancy
With pretty clothes to hide her unwed pregnancy

I promise to worship your saintly old uncle
And I’ll try to ignore his ghastly carbuncle

My contrition’s sincere for driving you to rage
Remorseful I am that you broke my rib cage

When the hospital staff called police to the scene
You’d no choice but to stick a dagger in my spleen

And now, poor husband, you are forced to care for me
Because my battered body reflects your artistry

Please take my apology, I’ll not report you
The next time my faults cause your anger to ensue
Copyright © | Year Posted 2010

Poem

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Duffin Avatar
January 11, 2011 at 2:26 PM
Wow Diane. A powerful funny but sad poem. There is an Irish book by Roddy Doyle I think called 'The Woman Who Walked Into Doors'.You have summed up the whole book with those words.P.S.William Wallace was 125 years after the battle . Eamon
Pettit Avatar
January 2, 2011 at 6:43 PM
You owe him an apology the way Pearl Harbor owes an apology to the Japanese Navy! Everything is well written with great descriptiveness and rhyming.
Situation Avatar
December 30, 2010 at 1:19 PM
Not report? then am i to take it that you support? good , but don't support him to death. T. S.
Fraser Avatar
December 30, 2010 at 10:36 AM
Make him walk the plank Diane, he deserves a sarcastic push....:)
Guzzi Avatar
December 25, 2010 at 4:56 PM
Ohhhhh my not funny at all, at least you should have beaned him with a casteiron frying pan! BIG hugs! Light & LOve
Mehta Avatar
December 25, 2010 at 3:36 AM
Sarcastic and dark write , Diane
Devonshire Avatar
December 24, 2010 at 10:52 PM
Great use of dark humor and sarcasm, Diane. Best wishes in the contest! Love, Carolyn
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