A Hearfelt Apology
I know that my scars cause embarrassment for you
My skin just doesn’t heal quickly from black and blue
I’m sorry that my sweet cat causes you to wheeze
And that when we went camping you caught lime disease
And I just hate it that I lost my sanity
By ducking so your fist would crush my vanity
I’m sorry I bought you too many birthday gifts
And that you felt compelled to toss them from the cliffs
My cooking, as you say, will never win a prize
Now with frozen dinners I’ll try to compromise
I criticized your sister for trying to dress fancy
With pretty clothes to hide her unwed pregnancy
I promise to worship your saintly old uncle
And I’ll try to ignore his ghastly carbuncle
My contrition’s sincere for driving you to rage
Remorseful I am that you broke my rib cage
When the hospital staff called police to the scene
You’d no choice but to stick a dagger in my spleen
And now, poor husband, you are forced to care for me
Because my battered body reflects your artistry
Please take my apology, I’ll not report you
The next time my faults cause your anger to ensue
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