Best Funnysorry Poems
I know that my scars cause embarrassment for you
My skin just doesn’t heal quickly from black and blue
I’m sorry that my sweet cat causes you to wheeze
And that when we went camping you caught lime disease
And I just hate it that I lost my sanity
By ducking so your fist would crush my vanity
I’m sorry I bought you too many birthday gifts
And that you felt compelled to toss them from the cliffs
My cooking, as you say, will never win a prize
Now with frozen dinners I’ll try to compromise
I criticized your sister for trying to dress fancy
With pretty clothes to hide her unwed pregnancy
I promise to worship your saintly old uncle
And I’ll try to ignore his ghastly carbuncle
My contrition’s sincere for driving you to rage
Remorseful I am that you broke my rib cage
When the hospital staff called police to the scene
You’d no choice but to stick a dagger in my spleen
And now, poor husband, you are forced to care for me
Because my battered body reflects your artistry
Please take my apology, I’ll not report you
The next time my faults cause your anger to ensue
Your Call Is Important to Us
By Elton Camp
When calling a company of much size,
Automated answering isn’t a surprise.
“Thank you for calling our business so fine,
Though we do not intend to come on the line.”
But your call is important to us.
Listen carefully to what you must do:
For English press one, for Spanish two.
And now is the time for us to mention
Punch right now your party’s extension.
Your call is important to us.
If that number you don’t know,
Then here is the way you do go.
To put you on the right trajectory
Key the name into our directory.
Your call is important to us.
Since a response you didn’t make
Here’s another route you can take.
We may learn just what you mean
From these options, a list of fifteen.
Your call is important to us.
Enter the number that fits best
And simply ignore all the rest.
When it gets to the end
Hold to hear it all again.
Your call is important to us.
You have picked option five
Don’t expect a person alive.
All representatives are busy right now,
But for you to hold we happily allow.
Your call is important to us.
Here’s some music to entertain
While on the line you do remain.
Our valued customers are not deceived
Calls are answered in the order received.
Your call is important to us.
Thank you for continuing to hold
Or so says a voice for times untold.
A rep will be with you right away.
And we are so sorry for any delay.
Your call is important to us.
We figure that your time is ours to waste,
So why should we even try to make haste.
This handles calls at lower cost
Even if customer goodwill is lost.
Your call is important to us.
We are so sorry to have to say
Business hours are over today.
Our policy now does direct
Your line must disconnect.
But your call is important to us.