A Funny Thing Happened On the Way To the Gym

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Gym A funny thing happened on the way to the gym. Halfway there, my car ran out of gas. I didn’t have my cell phone. What to do? I couldn’t miss my favorite spin class! I figured I could make it if I ran. I’d have to run really fast, and so I left my car parked on the road. I had just fifteen minutes with ten blocks to go. Just one minute and a half per block I figured out was all the time I had to get there right as spin class was beginning. Yes, I could do it (or could I?) Eegad! I didn’t even have a watch to know if I was running fast enough, and then I tripped over my shoe lace and fell down. I got up, knee skinned, to run again. I felt so weird. Cars were slowing down Some people stared and others laughed at me. I knew I looked ridiculous, but gee! Then suddenly, I felt the urge to pee. I only had three blocks to go, but I just had to get myself into a store. Thank heavens, 7/11 was right there. Breathing hard, I lunged inside the door. Inside the restroom, to my shock I saw my outfit was split open, and my rear was on display for all the world to see. My heart was pounding, this time more from fear! I had to leave with paper towels tucked inside my shorts to cover my behind, then begged to use a phone to call my spouse - the spin class now the last thing on my mind! My spouse arrived. He bought gas for my car parked seven blocks away. I got (in less than fifteen minutes) more a workout than I’d ever got from spin class, plus duress! July 13, 2018 for Robert Haigh's A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To... Poetry Contest