Notes About The Poem
By the way, Guys, this is complete fiction!!! I'd never run ten blocks just to get to a spin class if my car broke down!! I would consider that ten block run to get gas for the car as my workout!!
A Funny Thing Happened On the Way To the Gym
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Gym
A funny thing happened on the way to the gym.
Halfway there, my car ran out of gas.
I didn’t have my cell phone. What to do?
I couldn’t miss my favorite spin class!
I figured I could make it if I ran.
I’d have to run really fast, and so
I left my car parked on the road. I had
just fifteen minutes with ten blocks to go.
Just one minute and a half per block
I figured out was all the time I had
to get there right as spin class was beginning.
Yes, I could do it (or could I?) Eegad!
I didn’t even have a watch to know
if I was running fast enough, and then
I tripped over my shoe lace and fell down.
I got up, knee skinned, to run again.
I felt so weird. Cars were slowing down
Some people stared and others laughed at me.
I knew I looked ridiculous, but gee!
Then suddenly, I felt the urge to pee.
I only had three blocks to go, but I
just had to get myself into a store.
Thank heavens, 7/11 was right there.
Breathing hard, I lunged inside the door.
Inside the restroom, to my shock I saw
my outfit was split open, and my rear
was on display for all the world to see.
My heart was pounding, this time more from fear!
I had to leave with paper towels tucked
inside my shorts to cover my behind,
then begged to use a phone to call my spouse -
the spin class now the last thing on my mind!
My spouse arrived. He bought gas for my car
parked seven blocks away. I got (in less
than fifteen minutes) more a workout than
I’d ever got from spin class, plus duress!
July 13, 2018
for Robert Haigh's A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To... Poetry Contest
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