Get Your Premium Membership

A few laughs to kick start your day

THE KNIGHTS NIGHT OUT The kings knights went out for some drinking Mead flowed all got drunk armour clinking A short cut home through the mire Wearing their heavy attire One by one they all started sinking... A STINGING REVENGE A husband was found out playing away His wife not happy vowed to make him pay Caught them in their bed Both were butt naked She threw fire ants over them as they lay... ALWAYS GOOGLE Old manJohnny found a bomb in his shed There were two wires a blue and a red He pulled out the wrong wire It blew up caused a fire The next time ill ask Google he said... LAVATORY BLUES Fred just made it to the lavatory Night before he'd ate a dodgy curry When business was completed Poor old Fred remained seated When he saw the dispenser was empty... In a pickle he thought what can I do Im stuck in this little room in the loo He thought this isn't funny And used his paper money So let this lim be a warning to you... Written on 30th August 2020.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2020




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 9/2/2020 8:08:00 PM
G'day Tom ... as usual; up to your high witty standard Tom - Lindsay
Login to Reply
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 9/3/2020 2:38:00 AM
Thank you Lindsay, we need a lot more humour in our world with whats all going on. Tom
Date: 9/1/2020 2:32:00 AM
- Hilarious limericks, Tom :))) - A dose of humor, we all need these days :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
Login to Reply
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 9/3/2020 2:37:00 AM
Thank you Anne, glad you enjoyed them. Tom
Date: 8/31/2020 12:23:00 PM
Much depth in this reflective limericks.
Login to Reply
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/31/2020 12:27:00 PM
Thank you Pashang, im happy that you enjoyed them. Tom
Date: 8/31/2020 11:48:00 AM
Very fun poem. I enjoyed this immensely. Chantelle hugs xx
Login to Reply
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/31/2020 12:26:00 PM
Thank you very much Chantelle, im glad you enjoyed the humour. Tom
Date: 8/31/2020 7:56:00 AM
Such clever ones, Tom:)
Login to Reply
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/31/2020 12:26:00 PM
Thank you Jo, I love to do humourous poems, I'm glad you enjoyed them. Tom
Date: 8/31/2020 7:47:00 AM
Hi Tom, you've written mirthful limericks here, love the humor, lol !!! A great start to my Monday. :)))))))
Login to Reply
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/31/2020 12:25:00 PM
Thank you very much Regina, im happy that you liked them. Tom
Date: 8/31/2020 6:05:00 AM
laughing my way through the lavatory, tom... greaat job!
Login to Reply
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/31/2020 12:24:00 PM
Thank you Nette, im pleased you enjoyed them. Tom
Date: 8/30/2020 11:55:00 PM
Great fun, Tom, and I'm going to start pronouncing Naked like you :)
Login to Reply
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/31/2020 12:46:00 AM
Thank you Viv, I'd heard that term used and it fitted well. Tom
Date: 8/30/2020 7:42:00 PM
Wow you have a lotta luck with limericks! I hope I'm never in poor Fred's predicament ;0
Login to Reply
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/31/2020 12:45:00 AM
Haha thanks Michelle, always carry a few low value notes, you never know. Hope you are both okay. Tom
Date: 8/30/2020 3:55:00 PM
lol, that is funny, glad you keep us on the light side dear friend, we need a laugh or two these day, so Thank you .
Login to Reply
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/30/2020 4:04:00 PM
Thank you very much Pixie, humour goes a long way in keeping us sane especially during all these restrictions. Tom
Date: 8/30/2020 3:07:00 PM
awesome lims, especially that first one!! All were entertaining!!
Login to Reply
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/30/2020 3:18:00 PM
Thank you very much Andrea, im glad you enjoyed them. Tom
Date: 8/30/2020 2:53:00 PM
Lavatory Blues and 'The Knight's Night Out' both do it for me, Tom. Thank you so much. Always look forward to your great limericks. Kudos, Gershon
Login to Reply
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/30/2020 2:58:00 PM
Thank you very much Gershon, im happy you enjoyed the humour. Tom
Date: 8/30/2020 1:42:00 PM
Great limericks! The fire ants brought tears to my eyes! Watch out! in future we may only have electronic currency!
Login to Reply
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/30/2020 2:08:00 PM
Thank you Krish, a credit card wouldn't be much use either. Jenna done a follow on limerick to the ant one, you'll enjoy it. Tom
Date: 8/30/2020 1:12:00 PM
Hello tom I like the one about the paper money. In fact these were cute and made me laugh. Enjoy your day my friend.
Login to Reply
De Beaulieu Avatar
Darlene De Beaulieu
Date: 8/30/2020 3:45:00 PM
Hello Tom I have enjoyed the humor. It brightened my day. Enjo your evening my friend.
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/30/2020 2:06:00 PM
Thank you Darlene, glad you enjoyed the humour. Tom
Date: 8/30/2020 12:56:00 PM
Outstanding job. Enter the limerick contest. Pangie xx
Login to Reply
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/30/2020 2:05:00 PM
Thank you Panagiota, glad you enjoyed them. Working on some more Tom
Date: 8/30/2020 10:40:00 AM
Oh, dear! Thanks for the warning on the "paper money," Tom! These limericks are all great, my friend. Think "Google" is my favorite. Can't imagine trying to disarm a bomb. Hope you have entered one of these in the limerick contest! Hugs, Carolyn
Login to Reply
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/30/2020 2:04:00 PM
Thank you very much Carolyn, We'd be lost without Mr Google for sure. Im working on some more but got a busy week ahead. Watch this space lol. Tom
Date: 8/30/2020 9:57:00 AM
You gave me a laff indeed, Tom! I love great lims and these are GREAT ones! Bob
Login to Reply
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/30/2020 2:02:00 PM
Thank you Bob, im glad you liked them. Tom
Date: 8/30/2020 9:03:00 AM
Good thing old Tom had more than just change in his purse. Funny stuff Tom...
Login to Reply
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/30/2020 9:38:00 AM
Thank you very much Charlie, hope you are keeping well. Tom
Date: 8/30/2020 5:56:00 AM
Tom, these are great! I've written a companion piece to your limerick, A Stinging Revenge. I'd like to post it along with yours as a collaboration if you give me permission?
Login to Reply
Logan Avatar
Jenna Logan
Date: 8/30/2020 7:20:00 AM
It will be my pleasure. Hugs.
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/30/2020 7:00:00 AM
Thank you Jenna, feel free to use it, I'd be honoured. Tom
Date: 8/30/2020 5:18:00 AM
Hilarious as always, Tom. You have total mastery of this form--words seem to flow with ease to write a fun story. Well done!
Login to Reply
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/30/2020 7:01:00 AM
Thank you very much Vijay, I'm pleased you enjoyed them. Tom
Date: 8/30/2020 4:56:00 AM
LOL...especially the money that went down the toilet. Paying for service sucks ;)
Login to Reply
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/30/2020 7:00:00 AM
Haha, it sure does Kim. Hope you're well Tom
Date: 8/30/2020 3:24:00 AM
I see how you have been spending your time in Wales, lol.... Great laughs for a Sunday morning and good flow to all your limericks...
Login to Reply
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/30/2020 3:33:00 AM
Thank you S. O. The weather wasn't kind so I had plenty time lol Tom
Date: 8/30/2020 3:06:00 AM
This started my day out right Tom. Hilarity! Fire ants though? Oooooh Man! Revenge for sure! I would not have had my paper money with me in the loo though. But being a man, I am sure it usually is in a back pocket. Snicker. Snicker.
Login to Reply
Cunningham Avatar
Tom Cunningham
Date: 8/30/2020 3:14:00 AM
Thank you very much Caren, im glad you enjoyed the humour, lets hope his money was low denominations, knowing my luck they would have been 50$ bills lol. Tom