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A Father's Day Poem

I wish I could write a Father’s Day poem Telling about my father’s great love for me, Maybe sharing a story about his dedication, His making a loving home for our family. A poem that would suffice if it were true But, alas, it would simply be make-believe No kind, loving, fatherly things can be said Of the kind of father my mind can conceive. I cannot recall a single happy time I spent With my father when I was growing up a lad He never gave to me a loving gesture, or Said, “I love you, Son” or acted like a dad. I remember many times he made me cry Times when he threatened and bullied me Times when he was deliberately abusive And, forced me to do things unmercifully. When I observe a happy father and son I feel incredible surges of pride and joy For their beautiful, coveted relationship I never experienced growing up as a boy. Written June 18, 2021

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Nancy Kaufman

Date: 6/19/2021 11:46:00 AM

This is very sad Milton. It sounds like you had the kind of father my first husband was to my son but hopefully you had adequate father figures else where? Mine was more my mother who was good with babies but not after they became their own. Having a long term memory is not always a good thing. I'm so glad you have been able to forgive him and accept him for his limitations and appreciate the gifts you received from this spiritual experience.

Rama Balasubramanian

Date: 6/19/2021 11:07:00 AM

This one should be read by all fathers who are bad so that they understand even after so many years, scars never go away. Pain still remains. Wonderful write. I can understand your mental situation because even I remember everything bad that happened to me since birth,and when it is own father, hard to forgive.

L Milton Hankins
Date: 6/19/2021 11:18:00 AM

Thank you so much, Rama, for your read and for your thoughtful understanding. I have spent a lifetime trying to forgive, but it is a very difficult thing to do. You are right...pain still [always] remains.

Daniel Turner

Date: 6/19/2021 3:36:00 AM

I can see how this might be hard to write, Milt. We were raised in a time when men showed very little affection. It took a lot more work to make a living and men usually left the child rearing for the woman. A very sad write. I feel the same when I see happy couples together.

L Milton Hankins
Date: 6/19/2021 9:13:00 AM

Thanks for your understanding comment, Daniel. What you say is very true. In my father's case, however, he was a very complex man.

Edward Ibeh

Date: 6/18/2021 1:56:00 PM

Awesome but heartbreaking poem, Milt:-( Sorry you had to grow up with an abusive, cold, unloving father. How impressive that you still turned out to be a well-adjusted man with a gentle, compassionate nature. Bravo!

L Milton Hankins
Date: 6/18/2021 3:40:00 PM

Thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful response to a poem which was, for me, very difficult to write. I appreciated your thoughts, Edward.

Gershon Wolf

Date: 6/18/2021 1:04:00 PM

OK. Next father's day poem could be about a father you admire! (Soup mail, please). ~ gw

L Milton Hankins
Date: 6/18/2021 3:44:00 PM

It is very difficult to erase the hurt of a childhood so lived, Gershon. I would give anything to have had a wonderful father. It just didn't happen, and I'm still dealing with it after all these years. Blessings to you on Father's Day, my friend.

L Milton Hankins
Date: 6/18/2021 3:41:00 PM

Gershon, why do you think I sponsored a Father's Day poem contest??? I wanted to see how many people had similar experiences and would write about them. Only two people actually did. All of the rest were glowing accounts of wonderful fathers. I was just so happy to learn that most people have had wonderful experiences with their dads. Sincerely!

Ilene Bauer

Date: 6/18/2021 11:41:00 AM

A sad but beautifully expressed poem, Milton. It’s too bad you didn’t have any support from him growing up, but at least you worked to become the kind of man he wasn’t. Good for you!

L Milton Hankins
Date: 6/18/2021 3:42:00 PM

Indeed I did, Ilene. That's part of the message I was trying to get across in the last stanza. Thanks so much for your thoughts.

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 6/18/2021 8:55:00 AM

I know how you feel, Milton. As you might remember, my dad was not in his right mind for me to really know him. My stepdad was ok, but I never felt true closeness with him. I feel bad for kids who suffer abuse, but some just live with a figure who is nothing more than a breadwinner, and that's so sad. Very good poem on your feelings here.

L Milton Hankins
Date: 6/18/2021 9:16:00 AM

I do remember, Andrea. Thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful response. For too many men (and I suppose women), father's day is not a day to celebrate. I hope my poem will help others to be honest about their experiences and feelings toward their less than "stellar" fathers.

Alexis Y.

Date: 6/18/2021 8:46:00 AM

WoW! L. Milton, If this is true, it's sad that you didn't have a good relationship with your dad. Children need to see what a father is growing up, because it shapes who they become in the future. From what I know about you from poems and comments, you turned out to be a good man and father in spite of. Happy Father’s Day my friend. Have a wonderful day and weekend:-) Alexis

L Milton Hankins
Date: 6/18/2021 9:14:00 AM

It is true, Alexis. Everything you have said is so on target. I hope I have been the kind of man and father my father never was to me. See my reply to Tom below.

Tom Cunningham

Date: 6/18/2021 8:44:00 AM

A poem from the heart Milton, im sorry that you dont have happy memories of him. Could you not forgive and be the better person, not easy I know. Tom

L Milton Hankins
Date: 6/18/2021 9:11:00 AM

Ah, Tom, years of counseling, and, yes, I have forgiven him many times. I even understand something about the kind of man he was and why he was like he was. Forgetting, on the other hand, is not so easy. Let me say that I do not suffer any longer because of him, and, he taught me some great lessons, one of them being how to be a good, honorable, decent human being...the opposite of him.