A Dose of Medicine

Me mate Jake is in a terrible state,
where he lays in a hospital bed.
His eyes have sunk and his skin is pale,
if he wasn’t breathing I’d say he is dead.
And the doctors are really concerned;
each test they have taken is clear.
Whatever Jake caught is unknown,
but I’d say that it’s pretty severe.

It is sad to watch mates going down,
the way that it’s happening to Jake,
it’s unfair for he’s really quite young,
so I’m praying he might get a break.
But his Priest is not holding much hope,
for Jake has received his last rites,
and his family is being called in,
now the angels are booking his flights.

With Jake laying there with his pain,
I spoke softly about better times,
when we fished and we drank a pub dry,
and stealing sheep was one of our crimes.
Jake grinned when I mentioned red lights,
where women were our sole obsession,
and Doreen, Jake’s wife had been listening,
so Jake insisted he will do confession.

But Doreen who sat by his Jake’s side,
declared “No Jake, you’re in too much distress,
but Jake wheezed and coughed as he uttered
“There are things that I need to confess.” 
But Doreen being gentle and kind,
softly whispered “Jake, there is no need,”
but Jake is determined as ever,
to die in peace is Jake’s final plead. 

“I have slept with your sister Doreen;
and slept with your best friend as well,
I slept with her friend and your mother,
and I slept with our neighbour Michelle.”
I cringed when expecting a tirade,
from Doreen who stood there with a smirk,
“I know you did Jake, but everything’s fine … 
now rest up, and let the arsenic work.”
Copyright © | Year Posted 2016

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Marcum Wong Avatar
April 25, 2017 at 6:56 AM
A perfect poem to end my night on. I can go to sleep with a smile on my face. Thank you my friend. Nite : ) 7
DiMino Avatar
September 22, 2016 at 8:41 PM
:)lol. Love it! Were I on the jury--Innocent, I declare!--for the mercy of arsenic in this case, when dismemberment is fair.
Beaufort Avatar
August 19, 2016 at 1:57 PM
This is just too much. Revenge with a laugh. You are remarkable and so funny. I needed a laugh right now, and I came to the right place. So, thanks much!
Delaney Avatar
August 9, 2016 at 4:26 PM
Hello Laurie: I I needed a good laugh and got it......lol Revenge is sweet huh? Hugs, SuZ
Thirtyseven Avatar
July 28, 2016 at 9:19 AM
You present this story well, on a grand scale. Hope to see more words soon.
Smith Avatar
July 25, 2016 at 7:05 PM
Another good Australian poet. Up to Kiwi standard. Are you sure you are on the right side of the ditch. Maybe you Aussie poets could become valuable export commodities to help your sagging economy. David happy all tucked in a long white cloud here in NZ
Laurie Avatar
July 25, 2016 at 7:18 PM
G'day David ... actually quite good entertainment finds its way across the ditch. I'd never miss the Topp twins; and of course the Finn brothers livened us up but you don't have AFL so our economy will have to wait until October - thank you David - Lindsay
Duggan Avatar
July 22, 2016 at 8:25 PM
Hey Lindsay where are you, missing your delightful stories, this one is a beauty, hope you are well, take care......Vera
Laurie Avatar
July 25, 2016 at 6:49 PM
Hello Vera ... thanks for your comment Vera. I've been a little bit busy for a while, so I've got some serious catching up to do - I trust all is well with Peter and you - Lindsay
Wigley Avatar
July 13, 2016 at 9:57 PM
Hell hath no fury, eh? Great write, Lindsay, made me smile, regards, Viv
Laurie Avatar
July 25, 2016 at 6:55 PM
True Viv. It's certainly a calm and collected response I guess. Pleased you got a wee grin - Lindsay
Curtis Avatar
July 8, 2016 at 8:53 PM
A Mate---after all those women I'm not convinced it was the arsenic that killed him Haha
Laurie Avatar
July 25, 2016 at 6:57 PM
G'day Jerry ... his antics are the cake; the arsenic is the icing - thanks again mate - Lindsay
Callus Avatar
June 3, 2016 at 11:07 AM
Great story-telling, as usual, Lindsay:) Glad I don't have to be a patient in that hospital, though, not very impressed with the doctors there! // paul
Laurie Avatar
July 25, 2016 at 7:01 PM
Hello Paul ... back after a spell. Paul, this is true. A hospital in Sydney connected nitrogen instead of oxygen and killed a couple of new born babies and that's tragic. Catch you soon Paul - Lindsay
Marcum Wong Avatar
May 30, 2016 at 2:07 AM
You always manage to end with a fantastic zinger to keep me laughing Lindsay. I thank you for that. I loved this! #7 ; )
Laurie Avatar
July 25, 2016 at 7:09 PM
Hello Connie ... I'm pleased that you can get a giggle out of my silliness. I'll be reading your work shortly - Lindsay
Woods    Avatar
May 30, 2016 at 12:12 AM
Fantastic punchline. That was brilliant! You had me laughing the roof off. Cheers
Laurie Avatar
July 25, 2016 at 7:12 PM
G'day Mark ... pleased that you see the funny side of this little incident. We probably all know a bloke like this and wonder why he got sick and died. I dare say the rugby is holding your interest - Lindsay
Raynes Avatar
May 29, 2016 at 10:06 PM
bahahahaha great write, thanks Lindsay
Laurie Avatar
July 25, 2016 at 7:24 PM
G'day Lewis ... thanks for dropping by and reading my silliness - Lindsay
Hoffman Avatar
May 29, 2016 at 9:15 PM
Looks like Jake is finally paying his dues, LOL!:) Very funny poem!:)
Laurie Avatar
July 25, 2016 at 7:27 PM
G'day Cheryl ... yes Cheryl, Jake has been a very naughty boy. It'd be interesting to see who turns up at his funeral - Lindsay
Moore Avatar
May 29, 2016 at 8:35 PM
great comedy, had me feeling sorry for Jake for a while, now I am just jealous, to go with a smile on your face
Laurie Avatar
July 25, 2016 at 7:29 PM
Hello Bob ... thanks for reading a leaving a comment Bob. Jake certainly has a problem from his own creation - Lindsay
Allison Avatar
May 29, 2016 at 8:26 PM
oh what a twist at the end Lindsey - you should put this is FJ Thomas's current contest! :-) hugs Jan x
Laurie Avatar
July 25, 2016 at 7:31 PM
Thanks for reading Jan. A bit late for a contest. I dare say I have a ton of catching up to do on your work - Lindsay
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace