A Dance with Death, A Plaguing Curse

{"You’re alive, The dagger hadn’t slashed you deep enough, to coalesce with your veins and say Goodbye to the world that wasn’t created to be for your amusement and pursuit. My parents would repeat over and over as they convinced themselves rather me. It was assembled to anguish you; your crux, it was made to torture you, plague you. The devil whispering in your ear was made to haunt you. And we go about, wondering why we can never be normal, Being normal inside of our heart's dimensions would be atrocious, We decree on the fodder field in expectancies for it to tangle around us so we meddle with the ground, the soil that lingers in your core and smells earthy. God’s Devine creation; I prodded the blade that was subsisting into my wrist nevertheless, even though I pondered about all the options scorching me from the inside out. There was no hope for me; nothing to live for, nothing to die for. I composed myself and nudged even further; in hopes to end my demise and tragedy in this world. It didn’t transpire, call it fate, call it destiny, but the rusted cores of the blade annihilated and shattered within my hands. I bit back a scream in despair; my voice heaved in desperation. My eyes cut to the side of the room as I went limp under the weight of my feelings. Even this I cannot do, even though the attempt to take my own life; was an unsuccessful effort. The blood was drawing and inking out from underneath my flesh, but nothing major that it would massacre. My eyes went to the back of my skull as they latched; I recite the invocations everyone has once in their life before going to bed; ‘I want to die, take my soul out of my chest.’ my prayers went unnoticed, and neglected. ‘You still have another chance.’ I didn’t want another chance, I wanted the freedom in sauntering out of this world to scorch me, the inevitable punishment for wanting death to shroud me. for wanting death to love me, a plaguing curse."