A Cockney Rhyme

I was haulin' a heavy load Up the frog an' toad, When down poured the pleasure an' pain To my dismay. Once home I received an' invitation To a good ol' gay an' hearty! I was promised plenty o' laughs, Box o' toys an' lots of give an' take. An' this was to last Til day's a dawning! What will I take? Can't go empty handed! I Know, I'll take pimple an' blotch. Yeah! But my friend told me this, "Take this lump of ice... If a bottle an' stopper should pass you by, Tilt your head an' pretend to cry. Tell him, "It's appalling to poor army an' navy All over your borrow an' beg!" It's a penny come quick! He'll think your crazy! He'll roll his eyes an' send you on your way. What d'ya think? Are you yet to be?" "Absolutely!" I replied Laughing imagining such fun. This certainly cheered me up no end. Then, out came the ol' currant bun!