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FRED

Fred the farmer he bought a new tractor
The milk maid he wanted to attract her
He said you wanna ride 
So she jumped in beside 
Said tis slow can't it go any faster .

SAUL

In ancient times the killer Saul Porters
Was better known as the 'beast who slaughters'
Folks heard a victim shout
Saul was seized and knocked out
They hung him and cut him into quarters.

JOHNNY
           
An old gunmaker called  Johnny Aled
Was testing one of his guns in his shed
The firing pin jamned 
He said I'll be dammed 
Shook the barell and it blew off his head.

CHARLES

A two timer by the name of Charles Fring
Was with a hooker in bed doing their thing
Thought he'd switched off his phone
Then heard screams and a moan
Twas still on and his wife heard everything.

MING  SO

A hammer thrower from China, Ming So
At the games it was her turn to throw
She swung it around
Her feet left the ground
With excitement she'd forgot to let go.


RANDY MONK

There was a randy old monk from Biscay
With others wives liked to romp in the hay
With a smile and a grin
Said free loves not a sin
His Abbot didn't quite see it that way.

WOODCUTTER

There was a woodcutter from Tralee
Showed no mercy when hacking a tree 
But the tree fought back
And in the attack
Broke his jaw, lower back and left knee.


TRAPPER

Into the woods he went hunting for bear
By sheer bad luck disturbed a grizzlys lair
Ran down the hill in fear
Smell of bear was quite near
Caught his foot in another trappers snare.




Written 25th August 2019.

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