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59 and Knocking Wood

Eight decades and a half "young" is my mom.
Nine years and half a century am I.
How quickly I have aged gives me a qualm,
but one good thing - I now CAN'T multiply!

And right behind my mom I'm following. . .
The white hairs keep appearing; it's with dread
I picture myself one day swallowing
my food with dentures stuck inside my head!

Mom always was athletic till her knees
gave out. . . so walking fast she does no more.
But luckily, she has no grave disease.
I think she just too often scrubbed the floor!

Well, I don't "stoop" to drudgery. Knock wood!
At least my knees might possibly stay good.


For the Humorous Poetry Contest of Thomas Martin

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Lindsay Laurie

Date: 5/1/2015 6:36:00 PM

G'day Andrea... this is a really beaut sonnet Andrea. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Thank you Andrea - Lindsay

John Lawless

Date: 5/1/2015 5:56:00 PM

Andrea, I just caught up to these winners. this is a subtly humorous write with a tinge of fate. Well done.

Skat A

Date: 4/30/2015 6:48:00 PM

LOL, ANDREA. Congratulations on your well-deserved win. SKAT love

Sandra Haight

Date: 4/29/2015 7:42:00 AM

Congratulations on your First Place win, Andrea, and your funny poem ended up where it should be! Love your Sonnet. Sandra

Jan Allison

Date: 4/29/2015 2:30:00 AM

So pleased to see you get a far more deserving place Andrea - I am not looking forward to the judging my own contest as i am not au fait with the process but i will give it my best shot. Am so pleased Thomas was able to place several other poems into higher places :-) Hugs jan xx

Thomas Martin

Date: 4/28/2015 8:27:00 PM

Andrea, this contest was inadvertently closed due to my inexperience and a computer glitch. I have reopened the contest to revise a few of the best ones. Congratulations on this fine poem! A 1st Place this is awarded!! Did this for more than you and did not do it because knew you!!

Andrea Dietrich
Date: 4/29/2015 12:13:00 AM

I have to admit I felt bad that you didn't think mine was very funny. I used to have problems with those contest pages myself, so good luck in the future. Still wish Rob was on the top ten with the rest of us! His doggie was adorable!!

Thomas Martin

Date: 4/28/2015 7:53:00 PM

Admired this poem, Andrea. Loked the las 2 lines espeially.

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 4/25/2015 11:36:00 PM

Hola Andrea, Congratulations on your Humorous Poetry contest win :) LINDA

Sara Kendrick

Date: 4/25/2015 12:12:00 PM

Cute one...But sad to say sometimes those degenerative joints are inherited but maybe you haven't shared in your mom's inheritance..Enjoyed readng your work..You are so young..Thanks for stoping by..Sara

Jack Horne

Date: 4/25/2015 8:24:00 AM

LOL, had a chuckle here - should be a big winner

Andrea Dietrich
Date: 4/25/2015 9:39:00 AM

thanks for saying so, but in my opinion it was a loser with that HM it got.

Monterey Sirak

Date: 4/24/2015 4:27:00 PM

You're only as old as you feel, and judging by the vitality in your poetry you're dancing through your twenties.

Teddy Kimathi

Date: 4/24/2015 11:40:00 AM

Hahahaha.... You are a natural in comedy!!! Congrats to your WIN Andrea!!! ^_^

Daver Austin

Date: 4/23/2015 8:52:00 AM

I'm laughing, but laughing with you. It is an 85 year old's right to laugh at the railings of others younger. At 59, dear Andrea, you look like a high schooler Love, daver

Andrea Dietrich
Date: 4/23/2015 2:12:00 PM

I'm glad YOU were laughing, my friend. The judge sure wasn't!

Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser

Date: 4/23/2015 8:22:00 AM

My oh my, when ageing takes it toll, precautions precautions... :)!!! enjoyed reading it!!! Andie I hope we will grow old graceful and still with beauty.. //olive eloisa :)! praying!!!

Matthew Anish

Date: 4/23/2015 7:53:00 AM

I feel the pangs of 59 as well. My mother is still around - in fact I am going to see the show Churchill with her on Saturday. Good luck in the contest - and check out my Jewish New Year poem! Peace & Love Matthew Anish

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 4/23/2015 3:41:00 AM

Congrats on you win Andrea. I feel for your mom as my knees bother me too. Fell o them too many times over the years.

Robert Lindley

Date: 4/22/2015 9:39:00 PM

Congratulations on your win my friend.

Maurice Yvonne

Date: 4/22/2015 7:04:00 PM

By the way have you seen the Broadway Play "Monthy Python's Spamalot"? It just seems like an appropriate question at this juncture.

Maurice Yvonne

Date: 4/22/2015 7:00:00 PM

Wow this poem looks great with all my adorable little faces below it. When I wake up in the morning I kiss the mirror and I say "don't you ever die."

Maurice Yvonne

Date: 4/22/2015 6:57:00 PM

A behind always cracks me up and not because behinds have a crack in them. There just a great spot to grow hair. You get that perfect part write down the middle. Oh boy I hope no one was eating while they were reading this. Not really the kind of humour you want to have around the dinner table.

Maurice Yvonne

Date: 4/22/2015 6:54:00 PM

Are you kidding the third word in the fifth line is hysterical.

Maurice Yvonne

Date: 4/22/2015 6:52:00 PM

OMG I just read it one more time and it made me laugh again!

Maurice Yvonne

Date: 4/22/2015 6:44:00 PM

Heck the title alone makes me laugh!

Maurice Yvonne

Date: 4/22/2015 6:43:00 PM

Made me laugh and so well written. Lucky I did not enter mine. I was laughing while I wrote it. It cracked me up. I'm a big fan of me. Seems like only the good die young. First place in my eyes, yours and Jan's and I have to go read Robs. I am going to fav this and give you a gold medal to boot!