50's and 60's Weird Tv On Channel Three - Part 2

Continued from Part 1 Matt Dillon chases Jack LaLane Around a roller derby lane I think I need some more cocaine, So please don’t ever come back Shane I try to walk another street When me and Walter Cronkite meet; He says he thinks the news is neat And starts to talk about the sleet I run away as fast I can When Brinkley and the other man Say ‘good night Peter, good night Pan’ While Tinker Bell is on the can A dog starts crapping up the yard, He must have eaten too much Pard But watch out, here comes Pat Boone, bard, He’s taking steps without regard I find a jackass facing me And ride as far as far can be And find myself beneath the sea, But now Lloyd Bridges faces me I think he must be on a hunt To find a mind that he can stunt; He says ‘they’re sitting all up front And you can hear them as they grunt’ Old Ironsides rolls into view And says he’s looking for a clue; I close my eyes and say ‘me too’ ’cause something seems so much askew I better buy some brand new specs ’cause Mickey Mouse is rated X And everybody’s doing sex; Ben Casey gives the VD checks Hey, Milton Berle is throwing rocks And Elvis Presley’s chased by flocks Of girls in teeny bopper socks; Please help, I’m sick, I need two docs A weirdo asks me ‘what’s my line If Ricky Nelson drinks my wine And Lucy is my concubine; Paola’s great if I get mine’ I’m looking for a place to hide I stick my thumb out for a ride When Jackie Gleason pulls up beside ‘If two squared’s four, can you divide?’ ‘Of course I can, I’ve been to school And I am not nobody’s fool’ I feel I am a molecule Just floating through a vestibule So Jackie says ‘you are a kid But older than a pyramid, Too bad you’re not a phallic squid; I say, ah, can you spare a lid?’ Some girls are wearing panty hose They shave their hair which overgrows And spray away their bod’s B.O.s; I want to fade inside my clothes Continued in Part 3