4-26-19

These past couple of days, God I have missed you, Despite everything you have done, It feels as if my soul is missing, And it makes me enraged, That I still feel this way about you. I do what I can to cope, I push pen to paper, And let the emotions flow, Imagining a future I still dream of, Trying to forget our torturous past. I wander if your happier now, In a thousand ways I hope so, And in thousand more I hope not, Selfish I know, But for just this one day, I've allowed myself to feel everything Good or bad. I wander if you ever miss me, Did I ever mean that much to you, Or was I just your punching bag, Someone to take your anger, A body to keep you warm, Until someone better came alone. I hate that I allowed myself to love you, I hate even more that you used it to destroy me. And I truly hate that I miss you..