1. It's a Great Day To Be Alive (How Much More Am I Expected To Take?)

I greet each day the very same way. It's A Great Day To Be Alive. It's a positive way to begin your day, but for me, it's so I can survive. Waking up is a struggle. Way too much trouble. Not waking up would certainly be a break. Too much damage has been done. I'm no longer the strong one. How much more am I expected to take? Tragedy you see seems to follow me. The loss of loved ones seems to be tragedy's priority with me. especially with loved ones who are taken from me prematurely. I've lost Family & Friends rather rapidly. I've lost many to death, some to mental illness and others who simply ended up on the wrong path. It's A Great Day To Be Alive and reminisce those lost times when we'd lovingly embrace and all share a laugh. A drunk driver killed my oldest son. Mental illness claimed my surviving one. My best friend committed suicide and women I fell in love with have also died. My Little Brother From Another Mother is also dead. I was by his side when he died in his hospital bed. I have loved ones who are presently still alive committing a slow form of suicide. Alcoholics, drug abusers but worst of all are the children I love who seem destined to fall. Casual friendly acquaintances have also gone to what many refer to as The Great Beyond. Ritchie pleasantly greeted me everyday, then he'd unload my trailer at the docking bay. We exchanged pleasantries one last time one day. 15 minutes later, EMS carted his body bag away. Craig is someone that I once knew. We worked side by side on a construction crew. Whenever any of our jobs would come to an end, we'd say, "Hope to work with you again my friend." A day that will never come because Craig's life came to an end when a heavy load of lumber collapsed on him. Bill Cashman died on Flight 93. I met him only once, but he impressed me strongly. Do you see where I'm going? It feels like I just can't catch a break. So I ask you, How much more am I expected to take? I know longer feel that It's A Great Day To Be Alive, so I've made a decision, I'm going to die. By that I'm simply saying that my life here is done. One day soon I'll disappear and start a new one. I want to live my remaining years in True Solitude. No more family or loved ones. Not even friendly acquaintances will do. In that way, all of my true loved ones that I leave behind will all live long joyful lives, at least in my mind. To continue It's A Great Day To Be Alive (How Much More Am I Expected To Take) Part 2 http://www.poetrysoup.com/poems_poets/poem_detail.aspx?ID=185088